Joan’s Blog – July 26, 2007- Sex and Intimacy

Yes, we are going to talk about it.  The topic is virtually unmentionable in Support Groups, Caregiver Conferences, Alzheimer Conferences, message boards. But it is an issue for us spouses, and it needs to be addressed. This is the place for it, but I want to give it the respect and depth it deserves, so it will be more than a “One Time Blog”. Let’s call it a “Mini -Series”. I ask for your feedback via e-mail before I start writing on this topic. Of course, you are always welcome to use the message boards for feedback, but if you prefer to protect your privacy, e-mail to me is the way to go.

According to what I have read and discussed with my two support group mentors, the following are the sex and intimacy issues with which spouses of Alzheimer patients are struggling:

• When the emotional connection breaks, the sexual desire leaves.
• Our relationship is that of parent/child – I don’t want to have sex with a child.
• A multitude of medications = inability
• I want to continue a sexual relationship – he/ she has no interest.
• I don’t want to continue a sexual relationship – he/ she wants it all of the time.
• What can we do to retain a feeling of intimacy without sex? 

I understand that many of you are dealing with spouses who are in advanced stages in which this is no longer an issue, but you still may have insights, advice, ideas, and thoughts to share with us.

I must again, take this opportunity to thank all of you who have responded so positively to this website. I am gratified that you are relating to the topics, writing on the message boards, and e-mailing me. As you are relating to the emotions I am expressing in my writing, I find that I, too, am relating to what you are feeling and writing.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com