JOAN’S BLOG, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER  5, 2007 – ACCEPTANCE?

Have you come to the acceptance stage yet?  I THOUGHT I had. I am dealing with whatever comes our way one day at a time. I understand that we cannot go back, only forward. We will never have the spouse or relationship we had before, so we must learn to relate and live with who and what we have now. I think I am doing that. The memory techniques, the weekly date nights, the improving patience, writing this website – I thought that was my way of accepting what my life is now. Unfortunately, I am getting the impression that I’m the only one who thinks so. I must be giving off some serious “uptight” vibes. Two recent incidents have me thinking, “What is it that people see when they look at me, that I am not seeing?”   

As I related in the blog –Lessons From the Neurologist - Dr. S. said I was a Type A personality who needed to calm down and “go with the flow”. Yesterday, I thought I was pretty mellow in group – no tears; no real complaints; tried to offer comfort and support to others; yet afterwards, one of my friends came up to me, put her arm around me, and said, “Acceptance. You need to learn to accept what is.”

Intellectually, I think I have accepted our situation, but my body language must be communicating a different message. I honestly don’t know.

So now I need to offer the question to my readers – if what I am doing is not “acceptance”, then what is? And if what I am doing, IS acceptance, how do I convey that to others? Or should I even care what others think?

Have you accepted your situation? If so, I would like to hear how you did it – I am going to post this topic on the message boards today – let me hear your opinions and ideas.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com