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JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, SEPT.3, 2007 – WHO WILL KILL THE BUGS?


With all the serious issues with which we spouses of Alzheimer patients have to deal, this one may seem trivial, and maybe will give you a smile on this holiday, but it did occur to me this weekend. I am going to share it with you, and make a bet with myself that many of you will relate.

As my regular readers know, I live in Southern Florida – the land of sunshine , flowers , palm trees  , lakes , oceans, and fabulous wild life . It is also the land of alligators, pesky love bugs, , and TOADS .

It seems that in August, the result of the spring breeding season brings forth little (one or two inches long) toads – lots of them – they climb up the windows, stick to the sides of the houses, invade the patios, and even find their way INTO the house, as two did last weekend. Okay, they’re little; they’re not going to hurt me, but I freaked out when they got into the house. My hero husband grabbed each one in his hand and threw them back outside.

When we lived up North, he always killed the big ugly bugs; got rid of the field mice; threw the crickets outside for me; all while I was backed up against a wall, screaming like a baby. Except for the mouse incident, when I locked myself and my Golden Retriever in the bedroom.

So it came into my mind, as he was returning the toads to the grass where they belonged – When AD totally incapacitates him, and I am truly alone, even if he is still living at home, who is going to kill the bugs for me? Silly, inconsequential. I’ll  suck it up and take care of the bugs myself, of course, but it made me think of all the things he does for me, and how many of them I take for granted.

He climbs on the ladder to put the patio screen back on its track; he climbs on the ladder to change the light bulbs in the ceiling fans; he takes out the garbage; takes down the cereal that is too high for me to reach.

Think about all the “little” things your spouse does for you, or did for you, that you will have to learn to do, or have already learned to do. As I said, maybe it’s trivial, given all the major issues we face in the AD fight, but it makes me appreciate what tasks he can still do for me, and how sad I will be when he can no longer do them.


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