JOAN’S BLOG – SEPTEMBER 27, 2007 -Can anything good come out of this AD journey?
Do any of you know someone who has said that a catastrophic illness that befell their loved one was a blessing in disguise; that the illness brought their families closer together or it taught them how to empathize and love? Well, I am NOT one of them. I didn’t ask for this disease to invade my life; I don’t like it; I don’t want it, and I could probably find better ways to learn the lessons it will inevitably teach me.
However, I have been thinking about all the changes AD has forced into my life, and the impact these changes have had on my sense of self. There is so much that Sid took care of that he is now unable to do; so much that I left to him because I did not want to do it, or was unable to do it. AD has required me to find strength and ability buried deep inside of myself that I never knew was there.
Although I always paid the bills, Sid organized, filed, and kept track of the retirement account. I hate numbers. I am as bad with numbers as I am with driving directions. I found out that I can keep track of those numbers because I have to.
Do I thank AD for the confidence in my abilities that it has given me? NO. Somewhere along this life path, I’m sure I would have found that confidence another way. It is just one of life’s little ironies that AD was the catalyst this time.
Both the wives and the husbands of AD patients have had to look deep inside themselves and find abilities and strengths they never knew were there. Finding your inner strength may just be the one good outcome of this AD journey. What do you think?