JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, JULY 22, 2008 THE ALZHEIMER DEVIL TAKES POSSESSION

If I ever had any uncertainty that Alzheimer’s Disease truly is the Devil that takes possession of its victims, yesterday removed all doubt.

If I had thought it was safe for my husband to drive, I would have done anything to have prevented yesterday. It tore my heart to shreds to watch this proud, independent man turn in his license. But when I tried to convey my feelings to him, he turned on me, actually sneered at me, and laughed in my face. It was frightening. I swear I saw the Alzheimer Devil peering through his eyes, as he spewed his venomous diatribe – that he would NEVER believe that I cared or knew how he felt; that I was the irrational one; that there was nothing wrong with his thinking or driving; that I was the only one who thought he shouldn’t drive.

I know I should have left it alone, but I quietly and calmly asked him if he had listened to everyone in his support group who had tried to convince him that his driving was too much liability to place on me. He assured me that he not only didn’t care what they said; he didn’t believe them, because everyone is against him. Then he said he couldn’t remember what they said anyway.

So the Alzheimer Devil has replaced my husband’s thinking with paranoia, irrationality, denial, and a hatred in his eyes that is horrifying to see.

And it has given us “aloneness” . He sits alone in his misery, refusing my comfort; refusing to believe that I care or understand his pain; and I cry alone, knowing I will never again feel the warm hand of my husband on my shoulder as he turns me around to him and tells me that everything will be all right – he is there for me.

Is there a disease more dreadful than one that has the power to do this to a once inseparable, loving couple?

MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC: Possessed by Alzheimer’s Disease

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