JOAN'S BLOG - FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2007 - SOMETHING I REALLY MISS- THE BLOG THAT COULD NOT BE WRITTEN

Once in awhile, an unexpected emotion hits and paralyzes you. This happened to me yesterday. I checked the message boards and saw Amber’s new discussion topic – “Something I Really Miss”. I read her post and the others that followed. It was as if I had been struck by a lightening bolt through my heart. First came the tears, then the sobbing. I attempted to write an answer to her question – What do we miss the most about our lives with our husbands before AD? I wrote a few lines and gave up. I had not allowed myself to feel that pain since the day I realized our old relationship was gone. I try every day to push thoughts of “what used to be” out of my head, and deal with the day to day challenges that AD brings to my life. It is the only way I am able to survive this ordeal.

Since I started this website, I thought there was no subject I could not discuss. I have ventured into some touchy and controversial areas, ( sex - 1, 2, 3, loss of companionship, and seeking other companionship), baring my soul and my life to the world. But now you have it – a topic that has left me .  It is just too raw a wound to delve into at this point. Maybe I will be stronger at another time.

I want to thank Amber for posting the topic, and I hope all of you will continue to add your stories. It is important for us to identify with each other’s emotions. It helps us get through.

Tomorrow: A report on our debut today as conference panelists.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com