JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2007 – I MISS MY HUSBAND.

I miss my husband. I miss my wife. I am so lonely for the person who used to be. These are the sentiments I hear expressed over and over again in the e-mails I receive. It is the main focus of my Welcome Blog.

Where is my husband/wife? AD crept into their head when my back was turned, and kidnapped them. We miss them so desperately. This dreadful loss was highlighted in my life last night.

We were sitting at the kitchen table after supper, and suddenly, Sid started a conversation with me. The topic is irrelevant. It was the exchange that was noteworthy. This wasn’t the usual exchange of him telling me something he had already told me 10 times that day; it wasn’t the seemingly endless mother/child exchange of me giving him lists of reminders; it wasn’t an exchange of him asking me the same question he had asked me three times yesterday and five times today.

For 15 minutes, we had an adult, reciprocal conversation, about religion, our beliefs, our son’s differing beliefs, our changing beliefs, books written about religion. As I said, the subject of the conversation is not important. What is important is that for those minutes, we were emotionally connected the way we used to be; the way we had been for our first 34 years. I felt an infusion of long forgotten joy, shockthat it was happening, and gratefulness that, if only for moments, we were “US” again.

I do not know what occurred in his brain that allowed it to happen; I don’t know if it will happen again. I only know that I was engulfed in love, contentment, and the realization of how much I missed the man who showed up in the “time warp” at the kitchen table last evening.  

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com