JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, JANUARY 11, 2008 – EMOTIONAL ISSUES RELATED TO  THE END STAGE

Our readers are all dealing with varying stages of their spouses’ Alzheimer’s Disease. As we are all too aware, each stage brings its own specific heartaches and emotional pain. Each stage chips away a little more of the close knit relationship that took a lifetime to build. Just when we think the wound has scarred over, a new stage scrapes the scab, and we bleed again.

But those of you who are facing the final stage have a truly unique set of issues with which to deal. For those whose spouses are in a nursing home, there is separation anxiety and constant worry about whether their needs are being met. There is loneliness. Even though conversation and companionship, had long ago been replaced by feeding, bathing, changing, and your own total exhaustion, it is still difficult to go home to an empty house. There is now a life in “limbo”. You are a widow/widower with a living spouse. And finally, there is the dilemma – how do I live a fulfilling life?

I cannot answer these questions for you. I can only validate your feelings and let you know that you are not alone in these dilemmas and confusion. Every one of you who has a spouse in the end stage is struggling with these questions. Although you never stop visiting, advocating for, and caring for your spouse, many of you have found the strength to pick up the pieces and live a life with friends and activities of your own. My hope is that those of you who are living this now, can offer support and strength to those who are just embarking on this part of the journey.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com