JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, AUGUST 30, 2007 – NEWS AND UPDATES; A POIGNANT LETTER FROM A READER

I have been typing my little fingers off, so more of the links to the left of the page are now available. Memory techniques, Humorous Stories, and Books and Articles have been filled in. Check out Books and Articles for articles by Rich O’Boyle on “Intimacy, Marriage, and Alzheimer’s Disease; by Robert B. Schaefer; on “Confessions of a Caregiver: What should I do about these dark, scary and intrusive thoughts?”, and by Dr. Marvin Fredman, on “The Emotional Divorce”.
I will continue to add to all of the links as I find relevant information that may be of interest to you. Please send me your funny stories, so they can be included in the Humorous Stories section.
My son has had computer problems  of his own this week, so he has not had a chance to put up my new message boards. We’re aiming for Saturday.

BLOG TOPICS – COMING ATTRACTIONS:

The Driving Issue – You don’t want to be in my house during these discussions.

More on Managing and Preventing Temper Tantrums

My Alzheimer’s Cruise – I’m not kidding – we’re scheduled to sail in January – stay tuned for details.

A Poignant Letter from Norm – My apologies to Norm for posting this so much later than I had planned. This is a letter he sent to the Alzheimer News, but received no reply. It is so relevant to our discussions on this site.

"Below is a facsimile of a letter I sent to the AlzNews a few months ago. I wrote it because I thought it might be helpful to people who are taking care of spouses afflicted with Alzheimers. I received no response. If you find it of any use you may use it in any way you choose.

To the Spouses of Those Afflicted with Alzheimer's:

I would like to discuss a problem that may occur for Alzheimer’s caregivers who are taking care of their husbands or wives in hopes that my experience might be helpful to some of you. I am referring to the stage of the disease in which your spouse fails to recognize you and may think you are an unwelcome stranger, perhaps
even a burglar.

With my wife Janet it began as an on-and-off thing where for short periods she didn't know who I was. Sometimes she was very upset about the “awful man” who thought that he belonged in our house. I had to learn from experience that if she thought I was a stranger it
was absolutely impossible to convince her otherwise and she would become greatly disturbed if I tried. I had try to figure out from hour to hour, whether or not she knew who I was, whether it was ok to be near her or whether she was afraid of me. The periods in which
she thought I was a stranger became more and more frequent and seemed to increase in length from hours into days. Because of her fear I had to sleep in a separate bedroom.

The point is that this was a very tough time for me emotionally. I was devastated. I felt that after fifty wonderful years I had really lost my wife. She was there physically but it seemed as if all connection between us was completely disappearing.

I didn’t know that this would pass. Though it lasted months it finally did. I don’t know if Janet has regained awareness that I am her husband but she finally began to accept me as the person who cares for her and she seems happiest when we are together. She moves
to sit next to me while we watch TV. Eventually I was welcomed back into the bedroom and she started falling asleep with her head on my shoulder. She still does. What that has done for my spirits is more
than I can describe.

So to anyone who is going through this problem take heart and have patience. If you are as fortunate as I it will eventually be over. You will have your dear one back. It won't be exactly the same as before but the link between you will be renewed and you will still feel loved and needed."

Thank you, Norm.

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