JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, AUGUST 28, 2007 – THE LOSS OF COMPANIONSHIP
Loss of companionship – Underneath all the , frustration , resentment, and monumental, never ending workload , there is the sadness  for the loss of companionship. At night, when you finally get your spouse settled and asleep, and you are too tired to do another load of laundry or organize another pile of bills and receipts, you turn your head to the empty seat on the couch, and the deep sense of loss sets in. Who do I talk to? Who will hold my hand and watch the stars with me? Who will take an evening walk with me? Who will embrace me, touch me, connect with me? 

This is what I am hearing from everyone - this is what only another Alzheimer Spouse can understand. We miss the companionship. What to do about it when your spouses are there in body, but not in spirit?

Sure, you can do as the experts (back to those all-knowing experts again) advise – connect with support group peers; call the family members and friends who have stuck with you; invite them over; go out with them when there is someone to watch your spouse in your absence. I’ve also given this advice.

But we know it’s just not the same. I have said it many times before – a friend cannot be the other half of your . You are in relationship purgatory. You are widows, but not widows. You are widowers, but not widowers. Although we cannot change the situation, we who understand, shed tears with you.
I can share with you the advice I have heard that I think is most valuable – Do not hold onto your pain silently – express it in a support group; write in a journal; and share all of your emotions with your friends on our message boards.

Tomorrow: Seeking companionship

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