JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, JULY 3, 2008 – AN INITIAL SUCCESS

First let me thank all of you fabulous people for the emotional support and validation you gave me yesterday on the message boards and in the e-mails. My decision to finally accept the changes Alzheimer’s Disease forced on my marriage has caused me enormous heartache, but your understanding, as only another spouse can understand, has given me strength.

So here I am today to report a first success as a result of dealing with the AD brain, as opposed to the husband I used to have. I woke up yesterday morning, knowing I was going to have to deal with the “driving issue" AGAIN. It had to do with renewing the car insurance.  It is too complicated to go into all the details, which are not the point anyway. The point is that it is a hot button (more like sizzling) topic for him, and he started to go off the deep end again. By now, you know the scenario – I am the villain; I am taking his life and freedom away, etc. etc. etc. In my old life (i.e. two days ago, before I had my revelation), I would have tried to reason with him, but today I looked at him, and instead of my husband, I saw his AD entangled brain that knows no reason. I told him I understood how he felt, and left it at that. No arguing, no screaming, no idiotic attempt on my part to extract rationality out of him. Although I was very sad that I could not talk to my “husband”, I felt tremendous relief that a blood pressure explosion  (mine) was avoided.

There is more to this, of course.  As well as crushing sadness at losing the husband I had, there is resentment. Mine. A lot of it.  I will address that issue in a Blog next week.

With all the theatrics going on here, I almost forgot that tomorrow is a holiday – July 4th – Independence Day. If it does not pour tonight( Summer is Florida’s rainy season – thunder, lightening, and torrential rains most afternoons and evenings), we will go into Town Square for a little music, a little food, and fireworks . Check in tomorrow for my July 4th Blog and a few stress reliever videos.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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