JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2008 – HOW DO YOU HANDLE IMPROVEMENT?

Alzheimer’s Disease is one of long, slow downward progression. As spouses, we learn, through trial, error, and fierce emotional pain, to grieve each loss, carry on, and wait for the next blow to take another piece of our loving partner. As all of my blogs relate, I have had as much trouble adjusting to this path as anyone.

I have also discussed the roller coaster ride that Alzheimer’s Disease is – that our spouses seem to go in and out of stages and abilities - one day able to recall all of their relatives names, the day and time, and understand what is being said, and the next day, not able to recognize you, and back and forth, giving us hope and tearing it down.

My own husband was on a fast downward spiral from his normal functioning for 2 years, until we received a definitive diagnosis and medication. He was then stable for about 14 months, and began another slow, steady decline that culminated in the summer’s black rages. Although he insists the anger and rage was due SOLELY to the driving loss, I can assure you there was plenty BEFORE the driving loss. It was not as deep and prolonged; it came and went in the form of temper tantrums, but it was there. There was also nastiness, insults, and taunts well before that catastrophic driving loss, even if he does not remember them. I remember.

Now, all of a sudden, there are improvements in memory that we are both noticing, and we are wondering if it is possible that it is due to the BAP III drug infusion he received on August 12th or is it the result of the anti-depressant having de-stressed him to an amazing degree (which he absolutely insists he is doing himself, and is completely unrelated to the drug)? It is a fact that memory and concentration in everyone, including Alzheimer patients, is worse when one is over stressed.

There has been improvement in at least two areas. He seems to be regaining the ability to recall an incident when given reminders about its specifics, which he had lost almost completely. He had not progressed to the point of forgetting family members, but he could not remember names of non-family members (unless they were extremely close friends), and he seems to be regaining that ability, given a little extra processing time. 

I am not complaining about this improvement, but we all know how it is on a roller coaster ride. Once you reach the top, the ride down is a killer. Through much anguish, and many tears, I have managed to adjust to his lessoning abilities. Do I dare let myself adjust to the improvements, only to be shaken to the corewhen that coaster car hits bottom again? The last time I was on a roller coaster, I was 14 years old, spent the entire ride huddled on the floor of the car, crawled out in a stupor, and swore I would never ride on one again. And I didn’t. Until Alzheimer’s Disease entered my life.

Has anyone else dealt with noticeable improvements, either due to the general up and down nature of Alzheimer’s Disease or to a new drug? Do you just enjoy the ups and not worry about when the downs will resurface? Please post your comments under the Message Board Topic: Improvements

©Copyright 2008 Joan Gershman

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