JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – OCTOBER 6/7, 2007 – ENDLESS LOVE
Today was “Girls Day Out”.  It is either a tribute to our optimism or near-sightedness  that we call ourselves “Girls”.  In any case, three of us with AD afflicted spouses, went to a local coffee shop for lunch, and spent a cathartic three hours discussing everything related to living with an Alzheimer spouse. It was interesting to me that, with no prompting from me, the conversation touched on every subject I have covered in this website – the stress of having to do it all; the roller coaster of emotions due to AD’s inconsistency; exhaustion; the AD person’s ability to hide their problem from the outside world; driving; different friends for different times; the love that still exists. It reaffirmed my belief that all of us are facing the same issues and need each other for understanding and support.

In the midst of our “gabfest”, as Sid likes to call it, one of the women handed me a paper with a little story on it. It brought me to tears, and I knew I had to share it with you. It has been making the e-mail rounds, so perhaps you have seen it. I believe those with spouses afflicted with AD can relate to it as no one else can. I think it is a pure example of “Endless Love”  .

"It was a busy  morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived  at the doctor's office to have stitches removed from his thumb.  He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.  I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.  On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.  The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.  I inquired as to her health.  He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.  As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.  He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.  I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."  I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."  True love is neither physical, nor romantic.  True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have." 

                                                                                                          WRITER UNKNOWN

I wish everyone a pleasant weekend.

Coming up on Monday: Information on a study being conducted in Boston to reduce caregiver stress.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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