JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2008 – OUR DRIVING TEST EXPERIENCE

If there was ever a question in anyone’s mind that the driving issue is THE BIG ONE,  check out my Message Board Topic  –  The Driving Issue – as I am writing this, it has 61 responses on it. I have written four blogs on the subject ( Click here for the previous blog section – driving is #39, 64, and 66, and the February 4/5 Blog that is still at the bottom of this front page.)

First, let me be clear that in SOME cases, the keys to the car are given up willingly. To those of you whose spouses have quietly relinquished their driving privileges, you have been blessed with one less stress to deal with. But for the rest of us - There is so much involved in this subject, it is mind boggling – different reporting and liability laws in each State; the emotional toll the loss of freedom takes on the AD spouse; the monumental stress placed on the caregiving spouse from the unrelenting verbal abuse, crying, and temper outbursts they must endure from their AD spouse when loss of license is a possibility.

In most cases, the doctors place the burden of monitoring the driving to US, the caregiver spouse. Given the dynamics of the spousal relationship and driving under NORMAL circumstances, adding AD into the mix, is recipe for marital discord the likes of which cannot be imagined unless you have experienced it.

Because I have been observing cognitive issues that concerned me, our neurologist set up a stringent driving evaluation administered by a licensed occupational therapist, who is also a certified driving rehabilitation specialist. This was no – DMV “get in the car and drive around the block”  test. It was a one hour written test that examined visual perception, and cognitive skills related to driving. Then there was a one hour driving test that included city and major highway driving.

My social worker told me the night before the test that I was in a LOSE-LOSE situation. If he passed, I was stuck with the complicated liability and insurance laws. If he failed, I was stuck with the emotional repercussions of his anger, denial, and depression. The final result was that Sid passed both tests, and the OT cleared him for driving. However, he said that the doctor should watch for cognitive decline, and if noted, Sid can come in for another evaluation. Well, the doctor doesn’t live with him, so guess who gets an extension on the watchdog job?

However, since Sid was so concerned about losing his license, he agreed to the driving stipulations made in the first neuropsychological report – Local, low traffic, familiar road, daytime driving.  When we go out together, I drive, not because any official report mandated it – just because I would like it to be that way.  And he gets to criticize my driving, which makes him very happy.

Since I have done absolutely everything legally possible in this State – the extensive driving evaluation; consultation with the Highway Department; consultation with my lawyer; and consultation with an owner of an insurance company, I am done. Anymore stress over this subject is literally going to kill me.

I urge you to do your homework as I did. Check with the DMV in your state; your lawyer; and your insurance agent.

If you would like to comment on this Blog, please do so under the existing MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC – THE DRIVING ISSUE.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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