JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2009 – WHY CAN’T I HAVE MORE PATIENCE?

I am so angry at myself. You would think that with all that I have gone through since last summer with the Alzheimer’s induced verbal abuse and rages, a simple thing like asking the same question 10 minutes after I answered it, would be a minor inconvenience. Unfortunately, this entire week, I have found myself snapping at Sid for incidents such as:

Every month since last summer, I have told him that our friends up North, who are thinking of retiring, ARE NOT, ARE NOT, ARE NOT interested in buying a house in Florida. Renting, maybe for 4 months a year, but they are NOT going to buy a house. Every time a house in our neighborhood goes up for sale, he says to me – “Call them and tell them about this house. I’m sure they’ll want to look at it.” When he did it again this week, I yelled at him. “I told you, and told you and told you a million times that they’re not interested in buying a house here.”

I felt horrible when he said quietly, “You don’t have to yell at me. Just remind me of what you had told me.” My heart sank.

This morning, when we woke up, we discussed our exercise schedule. I said I would drop him off at the gym, and I would go to the lake to do my “Memory Walk” training. I’m only up to once around the lake, which is a mile. Next week, I’ll do twice around. I said I would pick him up from the gym when I finished my walk. An hour later, he asked me if I was going to stay with him at the gym and work out. Witchy (first letter should be a “b”) me snapped at him – “I TOLD you I was going to do my lake walk!!!!”

I am always lamenting his bad behavior. As I am continually reminded by my social workers and support group buddies, he cannot help it. Alzheimer’s Disease controls his behavior.

I, however, have no excuse. This is my apology to him and pledge to have more patience in the “repetitive question” area. It is annoying, but put up against wandering, rages, physical abuse, incontinence, loss of ADL skills, and complete loss of self, it pales in comparison.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved