JOAN’S BLOG –THUR/FRI DECEMBER 18/19 2008 – WHO AM I OUTSIDE OF THE DEMENTIA WORLD?

Recently, a group of my friends  (all Alzheimer spouses) admonished me that I needed a break from Alzheimer’s Disease. I am stressed from coping with my husband’s Alzheimer’s symptoms and behaviors; my business is writing and speaking about Alzheimer’s Disease, and all of my friends are involved in Alzheimer’s Disease. In addition, something new has cropped up in my life -I am now involved in helping a close family member cope with a spouse who is exhibiting signs of dementia. One of my friends told me that when she goes to her office, she “compartmentalizes”. She enjoys her work, her work colleagues, and can converse about subjects other than her husband’s Alzheimer’s Disease. When I meet new people who ask about me, about what I do, no discussion can occur without the words, Alzheimer’s Disease.

That conversation started me thinking about two different issues. One is that yes, I am now totally immersed in the world of Alzheimer’s Disease.  CLICK HERE  for the  May 08 blog I wrote about my descent. It is where and who I am currently, and I am okay with that for now, but the other issue is one I had not thought about before. Who am I outside of the dementia world?  Am I someone other than an Alzheimer’s spouse? Am I someone other than an Alzheimer advocate and writer? Who will I be when this journey is over? I doubt that I will ever abandon advocacy for Alzheimer’s awareness and support for Alzheimer spouses, but neither do I want to make it my entire life forever.  I know I will want to move on from it. But I cannot help pondering who and what I will be.  Will this journey have so totally ensconced me into the world of Alzheimer’s that I can never leave?

Today there are only questions, no answers. I thought they were questions worth asking of myself. Perhaps you have also wondered about your own sense of identity while living deep in the Alzheimer’s world.

Message Board Topic: Who Am I Outside of the Dementia World?

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