JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, JANUARY 7, 2011 – WE MATTER

After I wrote yesterday’s blog (see below)about not being able to have necessary surgery for my shoulder because of my caregiving duties, I started to think about it, and I got angry. Very angry. Why should I have to sacrifice MY health and future mobility because my husband has Alzheimer’s Disease? I read the message board discussion concerning those of you who have put off multiple medical procedures of your own because of your caregiving roles. I thought to myself, “This is crazy. We matter too, even though we do not have Alzheimer’s Disease.”

As if everything I do does not exhaust me enough, living in constant pain is draining what energy I do have left. The medication gives me minor relief, but one cannot live on pain pills forever.

Another thought occurred to me as I was working myself into a full head of steam. Currently, Sid does almost nothing unless I remind him, but he IS still capable of doing things, like making himself a sandwich, checking his own glucose levels, handling his own ADL’s.  He requires one step instructions – written down – for almost everything, but he is still capable of following those instructions. Since it is financially impossible for me to hire anyone to do anything, I must depend on relatives to care for us after my surgery. If I wait until next year or the next or the next, to have the surgery, he may have declined so much that it will be impossible for whichever relative comes to take care of me, to also care for him.

Taking everything into consideration – the fact that I matter; that Sid will never be easier to care for than he is today; that my sister is willing to come from Chicago to do the job; that there is staff here at my Villa to do any driving I need; that the therapy staff is here on site; that I have friends available to take Sid to activities; I have decided to have the surgery. It will, of course, be done around my sister’s schedule, probably not until April, but I will have it.

Believe me, I am not making this decision lightly. I have had more surgery in my lifetime than I ever wanted to have, and am not anxious to have more. I also do not like pain, nor do I like being incapacitated. I also know that shoulder surgery of this kind is tricky; there are no guarantees; and it may not help. But doing nothing will surely make the situation worse.

To those of you who wrote on the message boards about having no plan for this type of emergency – MAKE A PLAN. If finances are not an issue, you can hire whatever help you need to take care of you and your spouse, but investigate agencies BEFORE you need them. If you have no finances for hiring help, talk to friends and relatives, so you know upon whom you can depend to step up to the plate when needed.

Our member Sandi, has been telling us for years that she refused to let Alzheimer’s Disease take two victims. She had no choice in that it took her husband, but she did have a choice for herself. She chose wisely to take care of herself, and she encourages us all to do the same. I add my voice to hers, and I am trying to take her advice. We MATTER.

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