JOAN’S BLOG – THURS/FRI., JULY 14/15, 2011 – TWO DIFFERENT BRAINS ASSESS “ The Driving Issue”.

Something quite interesting happened here on Wednesday related to……………………the dreaded “driving issue”.

For the benefit of our newer members, let me first give a short recap of what went on in my house when I forced my husband to stop driving in 2008.  In a nutshell, he was voted the WORST case ever seen, of refusing to give up driving, by three social workers, a neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and all members of my support group. His behavior was so vile and obsessive that his own Alzheimer buddies turned on him, refusing to be with him, because they could no longer stand listening to his constant ranting and raving. He verbally abused and tortured me to the point that my heart was shattered; my mental health almost destroyed; and my ability to function at a standstill. It was not pretty. Only the shunning by his friends and a combination of Celexa and Risperdal finally calmed the storm.  (Blogs-39, 66, 128, 227, 231, 261 )

On Wednesday, two incidents occurred that reinforced my understanding of just how irrational the Alzheimer brain is. (As if I didn’t already know, but experience is the best teacher.)

I have been unable to drive since my shoulder surgery on June 6th. It hasn’t really bothered me, since I have an aide who does my errands and grocery shopping; our Alzheimer friends pick up Sid to take him to meetings, and both of us to go out to eat or the movies. The van driver from the ALF next door is available for local doctor appointments.

It is MY out-of-town surgeon’s appointment that has been a problem. It is 45 miles from where I live, and it is not easy to fit into someone else’s schedule. I had to cancel last week’s appointment because I could not get a ride.

Earthquakes happen suddenly without warning, but Sid’s earthquakes give forewarnings in the form of small rumblings. They started with that appointment cancellation. They were small and quiet at first – “See, if I had my license, I could drive you.” I ignored him. As the days went by, the rumblings became stronger tremors – “This is ridiculous! I’m getting my license back!” How he was going to accomplish this feat wasn’t mentioned. Again, I ignored him. If you read the above linked blogs, you will understand that ignoring him is my self - preservation technique.

It was on Wednesday, when my friend dropped us off at my doctor’s office, and then took her husband to his appointment 10 miles down the road, that I would have had a full blown earthquake on my hands had we not been in a public place. Since our appointments were not close together, we had to wait 90 minutes for them to pick us up. It did not bother me, as I was grateful for the ride, and we were going out to lunch afterwards. As I have described in the above mentioned driving blogs, I could see his face darken, the anger take over his eyes, and I held on for the explosion. He was furious. I sat quietly, listening to him rant about how there was no reason he could not drive; having to wait was ridiculous; this was the last time this was going to happen, because he was going to get his license back, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. At least he did not scream at me and insult me as he did 3 years ago during the height of the driving nightmare. Having learned that arguing with him is futile, I simply warned him to keep his mouth shut when our friends picked us up, because they did not want to hear it. As the car drove up, I warned him again. Thankfully, he complied.

He has lost approximately 95% of his short term memory; has no executive functioning; almost no motor planning; extremely slow processing; cannot make an independent decision; AND does not see why the fact that he cannot walk without a walker, has poor balance, and no leg strength, should prevent him from driving. Alzheimer brain thinking at its ultimate.

The second incident occurred when we returned home. The doctor released me from my sling jail, gave the order for therapy, and told me I could TRY to start to drive locally. I usually walk the path to the ALF to see my father, but I decided to give driving a try. It consisted of me going around my circle neighborhood, taking a right, and driving 50 feet into the ALF parking lot. A pretty short distance for a first attempt at driving. Remember, I am right handed, and the surgery was on my right shoulder and arm. As soon as I backed out of my driveway, I knew this was a bad idea. I cannot maneuver my right arm well; I have very poor range of motion; I had to use the gear shift very slowly; and I had to rely on my left arm to do most of the wheel control. My NON Alzheimer brain reasoned that this was a dangerous situation for me and anyone on the road with me; that there was no way I could react quickly in an emergency, and I was not ready to drive. Inconvenient but necessary. I will let the therapists guide me back into driving.

Two different brains. Two different conclusions. These incidents reinforced my understanding of just how impaired the Alzheimer brain is, even in the earlier stages. For more complete information on driving and dementia, please see the side topic of the same name.

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