JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – JULY 25/26, 2009 – THE ALZHEIMER MIND – CAN IT REALLY BE BLANK?

As you know, all of my blogs come from my own experiences, and this one has me baffled. This situation has occurred enough times that it is not a one-time unusual event.

Setting the scene: We are sitting at the kitchen table, and my husband is doing nothing but staring into space. In the old days, pre-AD, I would ask, “Hey, watchya thinking about?” I would always get an answer that he was thinking about  SOMETHING – his work, a problem worrying him, a news article, or better yet, a private intimate joke special to only us. 

Now, more often than not, when I ask what he is thinking about, he says, “Nothing” .  Not to be a pain in the neck (honestly), but because I am curious about everything, I ask him how he can be thinking about nothing. “You mean your mind is totally blank, with no thoughts at all?”, I ask. He looks at me as if I am a complete dunce, and says yes, he has nothing in his head. He is thinking about nothing. I could tell that he really meant it. He was not trying to hide something from me.

I honestly do not understand this. Is this something everyone is able to do, or is it common only to AD?  I know I have a lot going on in my life, as do all caregivers. Many of us are juggling jobs, household management, AD caregiving, and other family problems, which would make for a very crowded head full of thoughts.

But even when AD was not a part of my life, and I was relaxed with no worries (Yes, there was a time!), my mind was never blank. I could be sitting by the ocean, soothed by the lapping of the waves, watching the seagulls soar in the sky. I was perfectly content. But I was always thinking about SOMETHING.

I cannot even imagine what goes on in the mind of the AD patient who is in advanced stages, but to those of you who have spouses who are still functional, still capable of conversation, have you ever asked them – “What are you thinking about?” – and been answered “Nothing?”

Are any of you capable of wiping your mind clean, and thinking about “nothing”? Am I the odd one who cannot erase all thoughts from my mind as if  it were a blackboard?

Have any of your spouses' expressed to you that their mind was blank?

MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC – THE BLANK MIND

©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2009 All Rights Reserved 

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved