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JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – APRIL 24/25, 2010 – STILL SOME TEAMWORK LEFT IN US AFTER ALL

Considering my villa has a very small patio, when I saw a little chair and table patio set advertised in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, for a mere $79, how could I resist?  Especially since I had one of those “never expire” 20% off coupons.

I should have known there would be a catch, and the light dawned on me, as soon as the saleswoman said, “Drive your car up to the front, and the clerk will put the box in your trunk.”  “Box?  Box?”, I thought to myself. This is a five piece set. A box could only mean one thing – ASSEMBLY. Holy you know what! Sid and I are going to end up KILLING each other if he tries to read those instructions and put this thing together himself. I will have a nervous breakdown while he spends 5 hours trying to figure out the directions.

In this instance, being a control freak worked to my advantage. I think he was fully aware this task was beyond him as a solo act, which was why he gave no resistance to my “take charge” attitude. I told him that we could do this “together”. I would take out all of the nuts, bolts, washers, caps, and various other doodads. I would read the instructions to him, and the old Joan and Sid team would get this done. (There was no way on earth I was going to attempt this myself. I have no doubt I could have accomplished it, but it would have taken 12 hours and a ruined manicure!)

We got to work on our project. Since we both have terrible backs, and would never have survived the ordeal on our knees or bent over, I set up canvas lawn chairs with a wooden snack table between us (for the nuts and bolts, not snacks). I carefully laid out every plastic bag, which thankfully was labeled a, b, c, etc. I read the instructions to myself; figured out the supposedly helpful pictorial representations; set up the washers, nuts, bolts, and other thingies. I only knew which was what because of the pictures and labels in the instructions.

Only then did I give Sid his tasks. I handed him each “part”, told him which way to put it together, and handed him the correct bolts, screws, and whatever else was called for. We worked together this way for 2 hours and 45 minutes, carefully and patiently each doing our part. No arguing. No yelling. No problems. When we were finished, he put away the canvas chairs and snack table, while I cleaned up ankle deep plastic, Styrofoam, and cardboard. And the result – VOILA -  a fully functional patio set!  This is the actual picture of the two loungers; two ottomans; and one table on my patio.

When it was all over, my first thought was how nice it was to be able to work together as we did pre-Alzheimer Days. I thought that had been lost forever. But what was even more meaningful to me was when he told me he had fun working together with me. A touch of the old “US”.  A precious moment ( 2 hours and 45 minutes to be exact) to be savored and cherished by BOTH of us, not just me alone. It was a good day.

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©Copyright 2010 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2010 All Rights Reserved
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