JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 2009 – SUCCESS!

We will not be officially moved into our new Independent Living Villa until Monday, but since I started paying rent two weeks ago, we are entitled to all of the amenities, which yesterday was a day trip about 1 ½ hours away to a casino. In the morning, feeling a bit like a mother hen sending her child to school by himself for the first time, I left Sid with the Activities Director at 8 AM. In his pocket, I had placed an emergency index card with his medication list, my cell phone number, the Activities Director’s cell number, his own cell number, and his afternoon pill tightly wrapped in tissue.

Although he is comfortable and perfectly capable of being alone with his own group of friends, I knew he was apprehensive about this trip, because anything new and unknown upsets him, which in turn, increases his confusion and anxiety. But he was determined to start right in participating in the activities and making new friends, so I left him in the lobby with our next door neighbor, whom we had met last week.

For the first couple of hours, I confess I was worried that he might get distracted, wander away from the group, and get lost in the unfamiliar casino. Then I calmed down, and trusted that the Activities Director would do her job and keep an eye on him.

My day was occupied in the new villa, setting up a closet, waiting for the window blind measurer, and waiting, waiting, waiting, for the cable guy to show up. By the time everything was measured and installed, it was 4 PM. I was finally able to go out to get some lunch. Half way back to the villa, with the McDonald’s bag on my front seat of my car, it occurred to me that I could have called the ALF, and had a meal delivered to me. “Wow”, I thought to myself. “I think I am going to like living here.”

After I finished eating, I looked out the front window, and there was the ALF bus dropping off my husband right at our door. He was actually happy. He had a wonderful time, lost money in the slots, ate at a big buffet, lost a little more money in the slots, made friends with our neighbor, and is looking forward to going on more outings.

I know now that for as long as he is able, my husband will be active, social, and busy,  instead of sitting alone in front of the TV. This gives me a sense of peace, calm, and stress relief that I have not felt since we were thrust onto this Alzheimer’s journey.

There will be bad days ahead. I know that. There will be more and more decline. I know that. But in between those events, there will be quality of life for a man, like everyone afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease, who did not ask for his brain to be attacked and destroyed.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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