JOAN’S BLOG – TUES/WED., MAY 22/ 23, 2012 – SOMETHING CLICKED

We have previously discussed how many dementia patients, who have been lost in the Alzheimer fog for years, suddenly say or do something clearly appropriate and lucid. They are in There Blog and the He Returned Blog are two examples. Many of you have provided us with examples from your own experience.

Something clicked in my husband’s brain during the week my sister and brother-in-law were here providing respite for me. When they left, he remorsefully promised me that he would try to be more independent by using the wheelchair to get what he needed, instead of calling me every few minutes. He keeps repeating that I look tired, need to rest, and he is sorry he is the cause of my distress.

On Tuesday, I was actually able to stay home all day instead of driving someone somewhere for something. As I was preparing lunch, I looked up, and there was Sid, using his walker to come into the kitchen and eat, instead of sitting in his den chair, waiting to be served. He repeated that he wanted to do whatever he could to help me.

I am not sure what the “click” was. I suspect, after having witnessed all that Arlene and Mike did last week, that he realized how much I am doing, and he is frightened that I will “send him away”.  A dementia version of “Shape up or Ship Out” in his mind. I am not ready to place him in a facility. I am looking for in-home help and regular respite for me, but he does not quite comprehend that. I think it is an “all or nothing” proposition in his mind. He thinks that he either tries to relieve my burden or he’s going away. Considering what I found out today about the length and timeline of the waiting list for assistance, he may be ready for placement by the time his name comes to the top of the list.

Realistically, I do not expect this attempt at independence to last. He will forget, as he forgets everything, but it does mean a lot to me that he was able to come through the fog temporarily and is doing his best to at least attempt a little independence.

There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the moments or days of normalcy. On Monday, he went to his usual Alzheimer Buddies Dominoes Game, which always tires him to the bone. He says that the concentration exhausts him. He comes home and immediately falls asleep in his lounge chair. This week, he insisted that we go with the group to a local restaurant for a pizza supper AFTER the dominoes game. During supper, I was told by one of the AD buddies that Sid won THREE games that afternoon. Then I sat in shock as he talked up a storm with his friend sitting next to him. Totally normal and appropriate.

Where these clear moments come from; how they occur; what causes them; what causes them to revert – I have no idea. It is as if there is residual light in the bulb, it comes on brightly for awhile, and then it dims again.

For an interesting article on dementia lucidity, CLICK HERE.

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