JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2010 - TWO SPEEDS – SLOW AND STOP

For the first 35 years of our marriage, I tried to get my husband to slow down while eating. Leisurely dining was not in his vocabulary. Whether it was at home, a fast food emporium, or an upscale dining establishment, my husband wolfed his food down like a vacuum cleaner. Many wives have this same complaint about their husbands. I have no idea why so many men bend over their plates and shovel the food into their mouths at break neck speed.

Once Alzheimer’s Disease invaded our lives, I had more important issues to worry about than how fast my husband ate, so I have not mentioned it to him in years. Now, increasingly, I am noticing that he has gone completely in the opposite direction. He ordered steak and a large baked potato at a restaurant Saturday night. It was a small, ¼ “ thick steak. In previous years, it would have been gone in 60 seconds. I am a slow eater, always the last one finished, and when I was half way through my meal, I turned to my right to look at him. He was just finishing trimming the fat off of his steak, and had eaten ¼ of the baked potato. I could not believe it. When I had completed my meal, he was still cutting pieces off of his steak, and had eaten only ½ of his potato. After 3 decades of telling him to slow down, I was not about to rush him. I sat patiently until he was finished.

For the last year, six months in particular, I have noticed that everything about him has slowed to a crawl. It takes 2 hours for him to shave, wash, and dress in the morning. Answering a question is a project. Five minutes after I have asked it, I gently prod him for an answer, and he says, “I’m thinking.” He moves, thinks, and talks in slow motion. And I do mean SLOW. So I guess it should be no surprise to me that he has become such a sluggish eater. Occasionally, I temporarily lose my own reasoning ability, and ask him why he is so slow. He always gives me the classic cover-up answer. “I’m retired. Do you know what retired means? It means I don’t have to hurry.” I do not know if he realizes he is so slow, or if he is in denial about it.

I understand what is happening in his brain - that Alzheimer’s Disease will continue to slow his movements and thinking, and I will wait for him because I have no choice. I just thought it utterly strange to see my vacuum cleaner morph into a turtle.

Just the odd musings of an Alzheimer wife.

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