JOAN’S BLOG – TUE/WED, JUNE 22/23, 2010 –SECONDARY RELATIONSHIPS IN AN ALZHEIMER MARRIAGE – YOUR CHANCE TO BE INTERVIEWED

I write about, and we discuss the unspeakable, hidden, taboo topics that are unique to spouses of Alzheimer patients. That is the purpose of this website – for spouses to unburden themselves of thoughts and ideas that no one but an Alzheimer spouse could understand. For almost 3 years, we have touched on a plethora of topics related to Alzheimer’s Disease and marriage/sex/intimacy/companionship. Before this website, no one talked about the destructive effects of Alzheimer’s Disease on a loving marriage. No one talked about the loss of personality that is so drastic, the relationship changes from a passionate spousal partnership to a caregiver/patient dynamic.

This week, CBS reporter, Barry Peterson, told the story of what the horror of Alzheimer’s Disease did to his loving wife and their marriage. It is my opinion that he did it in the most organized, concise, compassionate manner I have ever read or seen. In one short video, he conveyed every emotion we have ever discussed on this website – shock, emotional pain, sadness, guilt, love – He covered it all. He demonstrated incredible courage by openly admitting his relationship with another woman, while still loving and overseeing his wife’s care in a nursing facility. Click here for video and story.

We have also discussed the possibility, morality, appropriateness, and concerns, related to starting a relationship with another person while our spouses are still alive, although long ago lost to the fog of the disease, and unaware of our identities. This subject has caught the attention of a reporter, Cynthia Ramnarace, who is working on a story for the AARP Bulletin related to the issue of secondary relationships when a spouse has Alzheimer’s Disease.

She would like to interview those of you who have been in this position, with the possibility of including part of your story in her AARP report. Your identity will, of course, remain anonymous if that is your desire.

I have agreed to cooperate with her on this story because I feel it is such an important one, and time to bring out of the shadows. Only spouses can raise awareness of the horrific toll Alzheimer’s Disease takes on our marriages and hearts. Only spouses can raise awareness of how this disease strips the personality and essence out of the person we love. Only spouses can explain the loneliness, emptiness, and hollowness left in our hearts when we become “married widows/widowers”.

Some will agree with Barry Peterson’s choice; others will not. It does not matter. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It is my opinion that is important for the issue to be brought out in the open to be given a better chance for understanding.

If you would like to be interviewed for the article, e-mail Reportercynthia@gmail.com

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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