JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, MAY 26, 2009 – PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING FOR ME?

I have been advised by many that I should consider getting counseling to help me through this Alzheimer journey. I have even had one session with the psychologist. I have nothing against counseling. The fit has to be right, of course. The counselor/therapist/psychologist and the client have to be compatible, i.e. on the same page as to what they wish to accomplish.

Which brings me to my question. What do I want to accomplish that I have not already managed to do on my own? It has been a long, difficult hike, but I am certainly better equipped to deal with the emotional effects of my husband’s Alzheimer’s Disease than I was a year ago. And even more equipped than I was two years ago.  I fought the good fight for as long as I could. I tried to bring my husband back. I tried to relate to him as he used to be. I came to the realization that it cannot be done, and I have learned to deal with the Alzheimer patient, as opposed to the husband I had. Okay, I admit that the realization came after anxiety attacks, nightmares, screaming matches, hysterical sob fests, soaring blood pressure, Zoloft and Xanax, but it did come. So what is the psychologist going to tell me that I have not already learned through the hard fought battle of experience? 

I have been an educator/language therapist my entire adult life. I believe in experiential education, which simply means that you let the student learn through “doing”, not “telling”. You teach the student how to find the answers; how to research; how to organize and discover. You allow the student to make mistakes and learn from them. That is what I have done with myself and this wretched disease. Everyone “told” me what to do in the beginning, but I had to learn through my own experience, what worked and what did not - no matter how painful, stressful, and difficult it was.

So back to my question – what do I want from counseling?  I don’t know. Do I need someone to tell me to take time for myself away from my caregiving duties? No. When I have the time and opportunity, I do get away for a few hours. Do I need someone to tell me how to deal with my husband’s mood swings, anxiety, and anger? No, because I have had better results in that area than any of the professionals, by using my own knowledge of therapy and 3 decades of understanding his personality. Do I need someone to tell me to exercise, eat properly, and take care of my health? No. I am a work in progress in those areas. I try.

I am wondering what those of you who are or have previously, seen a therapist/counselor/psychologist, have gotten from it? Has it been helpful? Maybe I should see her again and ask HER why I should go and what we are going to accomplish.   Please post your opinions and comments on the Message Board Topic: Psychological Counseling for Joan.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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