JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – OCTOBER 24/25, 2009– A PROPHESY REALIZED

Honestly, I cannot believe this happened. On Wednesday – just THREE days ago, I wrote a blog (see below) about our perspective of our spouses’ abilities being skewed. I wrote – “I need to be vigilant, because with Alzheimer’s Disease, we never really know. And what we do know can change in an instant.” That statement came true in JUST THREE DAYS.

Thursday, we were at the doctor’s office, and Sid could not give the secretary his phone number, nor did he give her the correct insurance card. He completely forgot that his primary insurance is Medicare.  I felt as if –SMACK - I had been hit in the gut with a volley ball. Granted, it is a new phone number (I guess 7 weeks is considered “new”.), and he has not put much effort into learning it, but he knows to hand over his Medicare card. Or does he? I am always with him. Do I automatically tell him to take out the Medicare card without realizing that he would not know to do it on his own?

He had difficulty answering the doctor’s questions about his back pain. When he was asked to describe the pain, Sid answered WHEN he has the pain. I touched his hand, said his name, made sure he was looking at me, and said, “He wants to know what the pain FEELS like.”  He answered that it was a sharp pain.

These two incidents were a wake-up call for me on the loudest ring tone. If he cannot remember his phone number, and cannot process the doctor’s questions properly, what else is he unable to do that I am not aware of? Do I do so much for him that I am not seeing what he cannot do on his own?

He is fine to be left alone at home for a few hours while I do errands. He is fine to be left alone at home all day when I attend a conference. I have never had to worry about that. But now I am questioning the wisdom of leaving him for a whole day. What if……………his friend took him out to lunch, and he forgot to call me to tell me where he was; he got it in his head to get on a ladder to fix something, even though he KNOWS the maintenance man will fix everything, and he fell; he decided to take the car to visit a friend around the corner- There are countless scenarios, none of which I thought applied to us……YET.  But “yet” seems to have snuck up on me.

I have decided to be an “observer” for awhile. I will give him the paperwork to fill out at the doctors’ offices; I will let him answer the doctors’ questions; I will let him find his way around a new restaurant. I will watch and listen, and hopefully learn what he is and is not capable of doing.

Or maybe it is just the nature of Alzheimer’s Disease that we are destined to be surprised at every turn.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2009 All Rights Reserved

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