JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2008 – PROS AND CONS OF DOING ALL OF THE DRIVING

I never said it was going to be easy. I would have avoided it if I could have, but now that I am doing ALL of the driving, I thought I would give you the Pros and Cons.

The cons are obvious. After 38 years of being the passenger whenever we went anywhere, and after 4 years of getting used to Sid doing all of the shopping and errands, there is definitely culture shock.

The idea was to grocery shop together, or better still, me sit in the car and read, while he shopped, but on Monday, he did not feel well, so I went alone. I used to give him a carefully detailed list, with squares around any writing that took up more than one line, so he would not mix up or miss words. He read it over and over, and followed it by crossing off each item as he put it in the cart. He learned where everything was in the store, and was fine as long as they didn’t change the layout of the store. This website is a FULL time job – there is always writing, design, advertising, and marketing to do. While that work waited for me, I was traipsing around the mammoth warehouse, Sam’s Club,  with  neither the time nor patience to try to find what I needed. When I finally finished, there was the packing of the cooler to do. It is August in Florida, which means scorching heat. The food has to be packed in ice in a cooler, even if we are only a short distance from home. Of course, I couldn’t pack the thing correctly; I had peppers and a pineapple left over. Oh well. Too bad.

Sid was absolutely GLEEFUL when I returned home with a poorly packed cooler, and extra food laid out in the trunk. “See, I TOLD you how hard it was going to be – you needed me to do it for you, but YOU didn’t want me to drive!”

Another con – Figuring out which of us has to go where when. He needs a haircut – the barber is here in town, but we both need to go to the gym, which is down the street; he needs to go to two different doctors on the same day, and I need to stay home and do work. It takes quite a bit of planning and flexibility, neither of which he can handle anymore. To his credit, he is expending a tremendous amount of energy trying to hold his temper.

Another con – I am sooooo uncomfortable in his car. I need a little “Joan size” car, which he would not be able to fit into. No matter. I cannot afford to buy a new car now anyway.

Another con – I do not see well driving in the dark. Actually, I haven’t done much night driving in 10 years, so if we have to go farther than into town at night, we have to depend on someone else to do the driving.

The Pros – Yes, there are some. I am saving money. An outing to the grocery store – three of them, actually – Sam’s Club, Walmart, and Publix was a way for him to get of the house and do something he felt was useful. Unfortunately, every time we ran out of any item, he was in one of the stores. I keep track of the debit card expenditures on the computer, and I would see lists of little charges that added up BIG TIME. Now, I wait. If we run out of something, we’ll just go without it and wait until grocery day. You really do save a lot of money by going shopping ONCE.

Another pro – I am saving money.  (Yes, I know I said that – it bears repeating! ) Very often I would not feel like cooking, so I would send him out to pick up “take out” . Once I am in the house after a day of errands and doctor’s appointments, I’m not going anywhere, so no more “take out.” We make do with what is “in.”

Another pro –Worrying about him being on the road is one less stress in my life. Goodness knows, I certainly can use less of that.

So there you have it. Life with one driver. He is definitely not happy, but as long as he can hold his temper, we can work it out.

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