JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – DECEMBER 20/21, 2008 – POSITIVE THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND THE BEGINNING OF CHANUKAH

On this last weekend before Christmas, and the weekend that Chanukah begins, I wanted to write something positive to lift our spirits. As one of our member’s husband just passed away Saturday morning, and the rest of us are struggling with the demands our spouse’s Alzheimer’s Disease has placed on our emotions and physical abilities, it is not an easy task. But in spite of all the difficulties and burdens Alzheimer’s Disease has placed upon us, I do still believe that we need to grab onto and appreciate the positives in our lives. It is the positives that give us strength for now and hope for the future. With that in mind, I am updating and reprinting a blog I wrote a year and a half ago that still holds true:

Most of the time, we are so overburdened with responsibilities and sadness for the relationship we have lost, that we don’t take the time to look at the positive aspects of our lives. Let’s do that now:
Our children – some of us have more than others; some of them are not supportive, but what about the ones who are? Think about the children you have who give you support and pleasure, and be thankful. My only child lives 3000 miles away, runs his own website business, has another full time job, and still is there for me when I need him to help with my technical problems. I am proud of him, and grateful to have him. Then there is my daughter-in-law. She is a bright, understanding, caring, lovely woman, who loves my son in spite of, or maybe because of, all of his quirkiness.
Our grandchildren – well, your grandchildren. I’m still lacking in that department. I’m told that nothing brings more joy than a grandchild’s hug and kiss. There is a saying that grandchildren are God’s gift for having survived bringing up your own children. Take delight in the positive brightness those grandchildren bring into your life.

The friends who stayed – yes, we have talked about the ones who left, but there are a few, maybe only one, who has stuck with you, and is on call to help when you need him/her. Maybe it’s just to pick up a prescription for you on their way home, or shovel your walk when it snows, or on the opposite end of the country, put up the hurricane shutters, but most of us have someone we can call a true friend. For that, we should be thankful. I am lucky enough to have more than one – they know who they are – I appreciate all of you.

The moments of connection – the loss of companionship and the accompanying loneliness is an unrelenting pain we have discussed, but once in a while, we reconnect with the spouse that was. It may only be for a day, an evening, or as little as an hour, but when it happens, we feel the love and closeness that was, and it is bliss. Surely, those are positive moments we should cherish.
Alzheimer Support Groups–Here we find people like us who understand everything we are going through – they are experiencing the same problems, emotions, and pain. In these environments, we feel safe enough to vent, scream, and cry for help. My Alzheimer support group buddies and the members of this website are the “Wind Beneath My Wings”, and a huge positive in my life.

I hope you take a little time this weekend to think of, and be thankful for, the positives in your life.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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