JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – NOVEMBER 6/7, 2010 - PONDERING A VACATION

There have been many discussions on our Message Boards about vacationing with our AD spouses. The type and length of vacation depends, of course, upon our spouses’ level of functioning. Three years ago, I wrote a blog about “a last vacation”, which we never did take. Reading that blog at the present time makes me realize how far we have come in the Alzheimer journey. Currently, Sid could not possibly, physically or mentally, handle a trip such as the one described in the blog.

However, he is still capable of enjoying some type of vacation “in the moment”, even if the details are forgotten when we return home. So I have been doing what my husband, in his healthy days, used to call “Trouble”. I have been thinking . In our “good old fun loving” days, whenever I would tell him, “I’ve been thinking”, he would say, “Uh oh. How much is this going to cost?” We would laugh, and he would watch as I enthusiastically planned a “trip of a lifetime”, which was always my justification for the money spent. How glad I am that we had those experiences together. I would hate to be looking back now with regret at never having swum with the dolphins, toured 3 Hawaiian islands, or cruised on a luxury ship with the love of my life.

So here I am, after a horrendous year of family illness, death, upheaval, and double caregiving, thinking I need a vacation. Since a solo trip is not possible, I would like to enjoy one as best as possible with Sid.  We no longer have the jobs and money that will allow for an elaborate or extended trip. Questions abound. Considering the budget and Sid’s condition, where to go and with what means of travel? Do we go alone or with another Alzheimer couple? What type of sightseeing can he handle, given his physical limitations? How much activity can his brain handle? What can we do that will give ME some rest, so the trip will not end up as Total Caregiving in a different setting?

Then, as is often the case, an opportunity presented itself out of the blue. My friend from up North called to tell me that she and her husband were vacationing at a resort in Orlando  in January. She was hoping that I could drive (2 hour trip) up there, stay with them for a night, and spend a day relaxing at the pool. We have been friends with them for 35 years, and have traveled together many times. A light bulb went off in my head, and I decided this was the ideal solution to a vacation that Sid would enjoy and would give me real relaxation time. I booked 4 nights (at Florida resident reduced prices), which I am most likely going to change to 6 nights, at a villa in the resort where they are staying. My friend’s husband loves to sit and talk to Sid all day. He asks him questions to draw him out and get him to talk, and they enjoy each other’s company. While he is talking to Sid, I can REALLY relax with a book and my friend at the pool. We have never been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom, so we are going to get tickets (at Florida resident reduced rates) for a day. We will rent a cart for Sid to ride, since he cannot walk any distance. Orlando is full of theme restaurants to enjoy, and multiple attractions from which to choose, all of which have carts for rent. This seems like a win/win situation for everyone. Sid can be with me, but if he is not, he will be enjoying the company of a life-long friend; I can rest easy, knowing he is supervised; and I get the true peace of mind relaxation that I so desperately need. I am excitedly looking forward to this.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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