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JOAN’S BLOG – WED/THUR., SEPTEMBER 15/16, 2010 – PLANNING A FUTURE ALONE Those of us who are walking barefoot through the Hell of caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s Disease, often feel as if we have lost everything, especially a future. We certainly have lost our future with our spouses. Whatever plans we made together for retirement – having the freedom to enjoy each other without the burden and stress of work and raising children; RV travel or luxury cruising; socialization with friends without concern for the alarm clock; fun with grandchildren – are replaced by loneliness, frustration, exhaustion, sadness, and stress But what about OUR futures? Many of us are comparably young – 50’s and 60’s. If we survive AD spousal caregiving, we should have another 25-30 years to live a life, although not the one we planned. Even those of you who are in your 70’s and 80’s, still have life to live. We are so consumed with the sorrow of our lives as they are now, that we may feel there is no hope for a future. I mentioned in yesterday’s blog that my cousins had taken a cross country summer trip. They had mapped out basic destinations – the major sites they wanted to visit, but otherwise, they stopped when they felt like it; stayed as long or as short a time as they wanted, and saw the USA in their SUV. 7 weeks and 11,000 miles. Suddenly, my active little brain went into full steam. I thought – when I am alone; when, for the first time in my life, there will be no one to whom I must answer; when I will be able to come and go as I please, when I please, and for however long I please, I am going to make that trip This may never happen, but intellectually and emotionally, I believe that hope for the future and plans made for that future, can sustain us through the worst of times. The only thing that is keeping me going in the midst of this nightmare is a dream of a better future for myself. MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC: Joan's Wed. Blog - Planning a future alone Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com ©Copyright 2010 Joan Gershman
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Caregiver Cruises - 2011 Schedule to Be Released Soon 
. Being the total destroyer that Alzheimer’s Disease is, we have lost not only our futures, but our pasts as well
. We may remember them, but we do so alone, as our spouses’ memories of our lives together fade into nothingness. 
. I am going to take 3-6 months, and see the sites of this country, most of which I have never experienced. For someone who does not like to drive, this probably sounds quite foolhardy, and it did to me at first. But I thought – at my own pace, on wide roads, with my GPS as a constant companion, and no one in the passenger seat criticizing my driving – why not? Besides the magnificent views and landmarks this country offers, I also have friends and relatives to visit in North Carolina, Maryland, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Illinois, Colorado, New Mexico, and California. I may even stop along the way and visit many of you.