JOAN’S BLOG – MON/TUE., DECEMBER 12/13, 2011 – VENTURING OUT INTO THE WORLD

           
My life, as does yours, consists of caring for a dependent, child-like spouse, with little memory, poor judgment, confused comprehension, and a rigid routine that I must follow in order to avoid stress and angry outbursts on his part. Since my husband is physically, as well as mentally disabled, my life also consists of doing every bit of physical work, from setting the table, making the bed, doing the laundry, to waiting on him. My life, as does yours, consists of constant chauffeuring to doctor appointments and medical tests. Let’s not forget the grocery shopping, lifting the heavy bundles, and putting everything away.

My conversations with Alzheimer friends center around discussing our Alzheimer related problems; listening to, offering advice, and supporting each other through our Alzheimer journey. I try to expand this support by offering information to others through my website. Add it up, and what I have is an Alzheimer Life and nothing else. I felt I was drowning in it.

Then along came this little Mah Jong group opportunity. I fully understand that my venture into the world outside of Alzheimer’s Disease is a tiny one, but for me, the result is refreshing. This is the third week that I have spent 2 ½ hours on a Monday afternoon learning to play Mah Jong with 3 women who live in the “normal” world.

This Monday, Sid was at another Alzheimer Buddy’s house for their weekly dominoes game. It was not my turn to pick him up when it was over, nor did I have to worry if he was safe or supervised. He was both, so I marched myself the 30 steps from our front door to the clubhouse, and took my place at the Mah Jong table. It takes a lot of concentration for beginners like us to learn the rules, and figure out what we are doing with the “hand” we have decided to play. Somewhere in the middle of the afternoon, I realized how much I was enjoying myself, that I was focused solely on the game, and that I had not thought of Alzheimer’s Disease once the entire time. It was then that I understood the absolute necessity of leaving the Alzheimer World, even for a brief few hours. It is normalizing, energizing, and restful, all at the same time.

Since 3 out of the 4 players are “learners”, we chatted mostly about the game, the rules, and “time outs” to figure out what the heck we were doing. When we did chat, it was about the neighborhood, what the neighbors were doing, and our children. How revitalizing for me.

When the afternoon was over, I thought – I can do this. I can escape the Alzheimer World once a week for a few hours. How liberating to set foot in the normal world! I highly recommend it to every Alzheimer Spouse reading this. We deserve a little normalcy in our lives. It is a breath of fresh air.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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