JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 2011 – THE ALZHEIMER NOT SO “MERRY” –GO -ROUND

Except for a long course of therapy in which I am now engaged, and will be for quite awhile, I am recovered from my shoulder surgery. When one is an Alzheimer Spouse, “recovery” means back to doing it all - running ragged, taking my husband from one doctor and test to another for his physical problems, which are beginning to surpass his mental ones; doing the laundry, errands, and grocery shopping. It means catching up on 2 month’s worth of household mail, accounts, bills, and insurance problems. It means researching specialists for my husband’s fractured knees which have not healed in 9 months of rest. (His orthopedist gave up on him – he has no idea why his knees have not healed.) It means handling my father’s health issues, which are getting increasingly serious, and require trips to doctors for tests. It means I am caught on the Alzheimer “do it all” not so “merry”-go-round spinning faster and faster, and I cannot get off.          

Before my surgery, prioritizing worked. However, I am so behind on everything now, that there is very little, if anything, that can be put on the bottom of the list. I am being bombarded from all sides with demands that “this needs to be done NOW” – care meetings for my father; Medicaid information for Sid; activity appointments for Sid; doctor’s appointments for both of them; “I have no more clean underwear – you need to do laundry” from Sid; “I lost my hearing aide” from my father; “I miss you when you go out – I want you here with me” from Sid; “You need to take care of yourself” from my physical therapist!

Before Alzheimer’s Disease, my husband was my partner who helped me with what I could not do. Now he does not even remember what needs doing, nor does he understand how much of it there is to do. He is lost in his own blank world, asking over and over again where we are going, what we are going to do, and would I please sit down, rest, and keep him company.

Spinning, spinning, spinning. Getting dizzier and dizzier and dizzier. I want off of this Alzheimer’s Disease not so “merry”-go-round. How tragic that the only permanent way off is for my husband to die from this horrendous disease.

In the meantime, since I will never catch up on all I have to do, I have decided to jump off of the not so “merry”-go-round for 3 hours a week, regardless of whose needs do not get met, and what paperwork and phone calls do not get done. I made gym appointments for two days a week. For 3 hours out of 168 hours in a week, I get to be the focus of attention (by one of the gym trainers), and I get to spend the entire time on myself. I also get a bonus 2 hours a week with my physical therapist.

As soon as my gym time or therapy time is finished, the Alzheimer whirlwind picks me up and throws me back on the not so “merry”–go-round. And around it goes.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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