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JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – MAY 22/23, 2010 – THE FIRST NEW CAR MY AD HUSBAND WILL NOT BE DRIVING

Up until 3 years ago, we had always been a two car family. Although I went along to the dealership with him, my car buff, car obsessed, driving obsessed husband, always chose the car he wanted. It had to be the sportiest, most option loaded, flashiest vehicle we could afford. When we had a baby, he passed on the “sport” model, and reluctantly agreed to a 4 door sedan, but it still had to be spiffy enough for his specifications. We then “recycled” cars, meaning that when it was time to buy another car, I would get the older one, and he would be free to choose what he liked.

When Sid had to give up driving (for anyone unfamiliar with that horror story, click on the 2008 previous blogs), we sold the 1999 Camry I had been driving, and I got stuck with his 2004 two-door sport Solara. He adored that car. He tooled around in it like a teenager. It killed him to give up driving, but to give up driving that car was the ultimate blow.

For two years, I have driven that car, and have hated every second of it. Not only can I not see around it, out the back of it, or in front of it, I do not like the way it handles. However, its biggest detriment is the two doors. My friends and I take turns “car pooling” our AD husbands to their activities. Can you picture men between the ages of 65 and 75 with poor balance, weak legs, and large tummies, trying to get in and out of the back seat of that car? It is a nightmare.

We were planning on buying a 4 door sedan that is small enough for 4’11” me to see out of, park, and handle easily, as well as large enough to accommodate Sid’s long legs and 5’11” height. Does one exist? Now that my wheelchair/walker father is moving here, a new car is an absolute necessity.

To give up the Solara, his dream car, will be difficult enough. But for a car crazed fanatic like Sid to shop for a car he knows he will never drive, is going to be an emotionally devastating experience for him. I cannot leave him home and shop alone, because he needs to try out the dreaded “passenger” seat to determine if it is comfortable for him.

I can only hope that this experience does not send him into a spiral of depression and anger similar to what occurred when he had to surrender his driving privileges.

I can also hope that there exists a car that can accommodate both our short and tall needs - under $20,000 in price.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

©Copyright 2010 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2010 All Rights Reserved
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