JOAN’S NEW YEAR’S BLOG MESSAGE – MONDAY/TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31/JANUARY 1, 2008

When the new year arrives, we always look back to the beginning of the old one and assess – Are we better off emotionally, financially, medically, career-wise, than we were the year before? We ask ourselves, where will we be in all of these areas a year from now? When Alzheimer’s Disease is part of our lives, the future is always uncertain and frightening. However, I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the positives of my life in 2007, and my wishes and expectations for all of us in 2008.

I want you to know that life with an AD spouse CAN improve. Last year at this time, I was living with a monster I did not recognize. He looked like my beloved husband of 36 years, but he was not MY husband. Surely, a stranger, a devil, had taken possession of my husband’s body. I did not know what he had done with my husband. Where was my husband? This person was irrational, throwing daily temper tantrums directed straight at me. He was sullen, angry, impossible to reason with. The emotional pain I was feeling was so intense it was physical. What had happened to my safe, secure, loving marriage? When I wasn’t furious, I was sobbing. I could not believe this was happening to MY marriage. I could not accept it. I wanted to find a way to put it back together. I wanted my husband and my marriage back the way they had always been.

I was desperate, frantic, and miserably unhappy. The turning point came, when, on the urging of Sid’s neurologist, I called the Alzheimer’s Association and found an Early Stage Support Group in our area. I found kind, loving, supportive friends who understood what I was going through, and guided me with information, suggestions, and strong shoulders to absorb my tears. Sid found AD patients who were experiencing the same feelings of frustration, confusion, anger, and fright as he was. Just the knowledge that he was not alone in his struggles helped calm him down.

I then took all of my pain and turned it into a creative endeavor – this website. To those of you who have thanked me for launching this site, it is I who need to thank you. Here I have found satisfaction, gratitude, knowledge, friendship, and support.

So now, as we approach 2008, I look back on 2007, and realize that my life is better now than it was then. No, my marriage and my husband will never be the same, and for that I will grieve forever, but through education gained from the support group, conferences, the wise spouses on this website, and countless books and articles, I have learned how to better deal with what AD throws at me.

Having been an educator my entire adult life, I live by the adage  - Knowledge is Power.  And that is my wish for all of us in 2008 – that we arm ourselves with knowledge – about the disease, what to expect in the stages, what to expect in our emotions, how to understand and deal with each challenge. Only through this knowledge will we get through this. This website will continue to be here to offer support, understanding, and information to help smooth our way on this AD journey that none of us volunteered for.

Sid wanted to make sure I included him in this wish to you, so I say to all of you – Sid and I wish you a Happier, More Knowledgeable, More Supportive New Year.
                                              

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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