JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – SEPT.3-5, 2011 – MY LOST SMILE

I can never tell what will prompt a blog. It can be an AD related crisis; an informative, interesting, or absurd article; an information packed conference; or as in today’s case, a simple statement.

On Friday, I was engaging in a chatty conversation with the director of the dementia unit at the ALF next door. I was relaying an amusing incident that occurred with my AD husband. She laughed, and said, “Oh, it’s so good to see you smile.” Although I did not let on to her, my heart sank. What could she possibly be talking about? I have always been known for my smile, my laughter, and my sense of humor. Her statement indicated that a smile from me was a rare occurrence.

Have the years of heartbreak, anxiety, unrelenting workload, financial and emotional stress, and since last year, the addition of caring for my father as well as my husband, taken such a toll on me that I am perceived as perpetually cheerless?  This is not how I wish to be known. It is not natural for me.

I was wondering how I could find my smile again, when I recalled a children’s book about a lost smile. In researching it, I found two children’s books with quite different conclusions.

The first book is Where’s Your Smile, Crocodile?  It tells the story of a young crocodile who wakes up without his smile. From the Amazon reviews……..“ his mother encourages him to go out and play. All the animals in the jungle notice, too, that he's lost his smile, and they try to cheer him up. Parrot screeches wildly, Orange Monkey makes funny faces, and Elephant blows water bubbles, but nothing works. Forlornly plodding through the jungle creepers and lotus blossoms, the little reptile comes upon a lion cub that has lost his way home. Kyle tries to cheer up the little cub with the same tactics his friends used on him as they make their way home. In the process, Kyle's smile reappears on his face-right where it belongs. The message of finding happiness by helping someone else will not be lost on young listeners……”

A lovely story, to be sure, and an excellent message for children, but not exactly appropriate to my situation.  I am burned out from “helping”. That seems to be how I lost my smile in the first place.

On to the next book, Augustus and His Smile, the story of a tiger who lost his smile.  From the Amazon reviews………. “Augustus the tiger was sad. And he had lost his smile. So he did a huge tigery stretch and set off to find it. Stunning illustrations celebrate the beauty of the world and the simple happiness it brings us when we open our eyes to it.  

That was the answer for me. When I sit on my patio and watch the birds, I smile. When I play with my neighbor’s dog, I smile. When I watch puppies frolic, I smile. When I watch the waves in the ocean, I smile. When I recall the 35 good years Sid and I experienced together, I smile. When I recall the birth of my son, I smile. There is sadness, strife, and stress in my life now, but there is beauty and joy all around me in nature and in my own memories. That is where I will find my smile.

MESSAGE BOARDS: Joan's Weekend Blog - My Lost Smile

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com
©Copyright 2011 Joan Gershman
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2011 All Rights Reserved
Under penalty of copyright laws, this information cannot be copied or posted on any website, media, or print outlet, without referencing the author and website from which it was taken.

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.           

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2010 All Rights Reserved