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JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2011 – MY OWN ADVICE WENT OUT THE WINDOW

As you may have noticed, these past two weeks, my blog writing has reduced to a trickle. A combination of double duty caregiving burdens have collided to cause me to be spinning in so many directions, I have time for little else than tending to my father’s emergencies and my ALzheimer/diabetic husband’s mental and physical needs.

Let’s examine where my own advice in these matters has gotten me. The top advice from every caregiving expert on the planet, and one that I give constantly is – take time for yourself. As I am writing this, my mind is thinking -  I have to change two of Sid’s doctor and test appointments; make two appointments for my father’s life threatening issues; make a bank deposit to cover a deficit balance; fold and put away two baskets full of laundry; make Sid’s lunch for him to take to his Alzheimer Buddies dominoes game this afternoon; drive him and pick him up from his game; go next door to the ALF to cut and file my father’s nails; AND work on my new website business (http://www.etsy.com/shop/joanisknitting) , which I set up to generate income, since I obviously cannot get a job outside of the house. In the middle of writing this, I stopped to take a phone call from my father’s therapist to discuss his situation. WHEW! That’s just today’s schedule of activities.

While all of this is going on, I am supposed to walk every day to build up my stamina, go to the gym to work out, so I can maintain my strength, and do my shoulder exercises, because my insurance company cut off my therapy.

Now I question my own advice - where does “find time for yourself” fit into this equation?  It used to fit in at 8 PM, when I would get into a comfy robe, park myself on the couch in the den, pick up my knitting, which relaxes me, and watch mindless TV for a couple of hours. Then I would take my Kindle into bed and read until midnight. Now I am somewhat leery of getting into my robe early, as I never know when the phone will ring, and I will have to run over to the ALF to deal with one of my father’s emergencies. I have taken to calling and checking on him before I get out of my clothes. And believe me, if necessary, I would run over there in my robe and slippers. I am always on edge, waiting for the next shoe to drop.

I am thankful that I can still leave Sid alone for a few hours, but going out of the house requires preparation. I have to write a note for him, listing where I am going, when I will return, when to test his blood, what is in the refrigerator for his lunch, and how long to heat it in the microwave. “Going out” usually means that I am doing errands or grocery shopping, not having fun.

I need to get away from caregiving for a spell. Far away. Yes, in addition to everything else I am doing, I am working with the State to get funding for extra care and respite for Sid, so I can take a real breather. Bureaucracy runs slowly.

We are traveling to my sister’s house in Chicago for Thanksgiving. Our son from San Francisco is meeting us there. The house will be full of relatives. The plan is to park Sid on the couch and let everyone else handle his needs. That is the respite I am looking forward to. While I hope that my father remains stable when I am away.

The moral of the story is that advice is easily given; not so easily followed.

MESSAGE BOARDS: Joan's Blog - My own advice went out the window.

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