JOAN’S MOTHER’S DAY BLOG – MAY 8/9, 2010 – MOTHERS AND CAREGIVERS – A FOUNDATION OF LOVE

From the moment a child is born, a mother provides love. This love is expressed physically by making sure the child is fed, clothed, and bathed. It is expressed emotionally by soothing, holding, rocking, and protecting the child against imagined monsters, nightmares, germs, and predators. A mother provides nurturing, discipline, direction, and advice. A mother works tirelessly throughout her children’s lives to love and protect them.

I believe I have also described a caregiver. The members of this website provide all of the above to the spouse for whom they are caring. We know that Alzheimer’ Disease slowly returns the person with the disease to a childlike state. Whether we women are or are not mothers; whether the men are or are not fathers, it does not matter. We are all, as caregivers, thrust into the role of “mother”. To some, it comes easily; to others it is a struggle. Whichever it is for us, we do the best we can with the skills we have. Our efforts are backed up with the love we have for the spouse who used to be our husband, wife, lover, and partner, and is now our child.

There are thousands of child rearing books on the market offering conflicting advice on how to raise children to be strong, independent, compassionate, educated, productive adults. Some mothers read them; others do not, but ALL mothers make a lot of mistakes, and stumble through with trial and error, ALWAYS with their children’s best interests at heart.

It is the same with caregiving. There are thousands of caregiving manuals offering advice on every aspect of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease. Some caregivers read them, others do not, but ALL caregivers make a lot of mistakes, and stumble through with trail and error, ALWAYS with their AD loved one’s best interests at heart.

On this Mother’s Day, I encourage you to remember the love and devotion of the mother who raised you (my mother), and in my case, the mother who was by my side through my adult life, and is now fighting for her own (my stepmother). I encourage you to give yourself, the caregiver (man or woman), a lot of credit for the incredible job you do. The jobs of mother and caregiver are built on a foundation of love, and no matter how difficult the obstacles, it is the love that always shines through.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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