JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2008 – THE MOOD SWINGS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS.

When it’s Alzheimer’s Disease, there is always something new cropping up to upset whatever equilibrium I have managed to find.  I have lived through temper tantrums, rages, confusion, angry insults, and for a few months – peace and calm.

Now it’s mood swings. I feel like I’m living with the male version of Sybil – I never know which of the multiple personalities will show themselves on any given day. Will it be the nasty, insulting one? Will it be the raging, angry one? Will it be the crying depressed one? Will it be the sweet, calm one? A friend of mine describes it as having 3 or 4 husbands, and she tries to adjust her responses according to which husband comes to the breakfast table.

I was living with the sweet, calm husband for a few months. How silly of me to think that would last. One morning last week, I woke up with the sad, deeply depressed husband. He was crying over the driving, telling me how he obsesses over it 24 hours a day, and can not enjoy any activity or any place we go as long as he has to sit in the passenger seat. He went on endlessly with the “My life is over. I am dead.” speech. I thought – “Uh oh, here we go again. I’ve learned my lesson. I know how to respond to this. I will not get into any arguments over it. I will just let him vent.”  Which I did, but not without sorrow for him, and anxiety for me.

The next day, he was happy, loving, uncomplaining. I had just gotten myself geared up for dealing with the depression, when I had to switch my response in midstream. Apparently I did not do an adequate job, because he complained that I was not affectionate enough.

I spent yesterday with the angry, insulting husband, who displayed his fury over the driving issue by making snide remarks in front of our friends, about my inability to drive in the dark. Again, I had to switch gears. Although it went against every fiber of my being, and every manner in which we USED to conduct our marriage before the AD devil came to reside in my husband’s brain, I said nothing. When we returned home, I tried to explain to him how rude and insensitive he had been. It should come as no surprise to anyone that he didn’t get it.

Attempting to constantly change my own actions in response to these mood swings is exhausting. I feel like a tennis ball being bounced back and forth across the court. The advice I have received is to call the doctor and get my husband’s depression medication adjusted. Yes, I will do that, but I cannot help but feel how tragic it is that medication is now our method of solving problems.

Message Board Topic: Mood Swings

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