JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY AUGUST 30, 2010 – LOST LOVE AND FUTURE HOPE

In the 3 years since I started this website, I have recommended many books, both Alzheimer’s related, particularly pertaining to Alzheimer marriages, as well as mainstream fiction/nonfiction.  Never have I written a blog devoted to one book, but the book I am about to discuss is a stunner, and I would encourage everyone who has lost or is going to lose a spouse to Alzheimer’s Disease to read it. Although I have become acquainted with many authors these last 3 years, I do not know the author of this book, have never corresponded with her, and am not promoting the book for her.

Lost and Found by Jacqueline Sheehan is the story of how one woman copes with the sudden heart attack death of her 42 year old husband. How could that have anything to do with the slow, incremental death of our spouses from Alzheimer’s Disease that we are experiencing? It does because it is about loss, guilt, descent into despair, and the long climb out into the light . It is the story of a woman who could not save her husband, no matter how valiant her efforts; her devastation and guilt over his death; her journey through grief and mourning, and how she and a wounded dog who she is able to save, help each other heal and find joy in life again.

Lately the message boards have been filled with widows, widowers, and those whose fate is to be both, questioning the meaning of their lives. They have questioned whether there is any hope of a life of joy and happiness without their spouse, especially after having been beaten down by years of emotionally wrenching and physically exhausting caregiving. This story is a testament to resilience and hope. 

I have been dwelling in the house of depression and despair myself, as Sid’s memory and comprehension decline. I have been feeling angry and cheated out of our life together. And guilty. I have been feeling guilty that I am planning a life for myself without him. After reading Sheehan’s book, I have come to the realization that everything is a process. If I survive caregiving, I will go through the grieving process as did Rocky, the main character in the book, and I will come out into the light, as did she and her dog, Cooper.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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