JOAN’S BLOG – FEBRUARY 25/26, 2009 – THE LIVES WE’VE TOUCHED

This is a very special blog to me, because it not only celebrates the man my husband was before Alzheimer’s Disease, but it illustrates how each and every one of us can affect those we meet by touching those lives for even one moment in time.

Allow me to tell you a little history first. Between February and July of 1974, three little baby boys were born to three different women. In 1977, the women’s lives crossed; they became friends; and the boys became pre-school friends; elementary school friends; high school friends. One of those boys was my son, Joel. The other two were Mike and Scott. I called the three of them “My boys”. During the high school years, I never knew who was going to be sleeping on the floor of my family room when I woke up in the morning. Their paths separated when they graduated high school and attended different colleges. But when Joel decided to move to California in 1997, all three of “my boys” came together and slept in the family room for one final time. In the morning, they drove Joel to the airport to see him off to San Francisco. They came together for Scott’s wedding in 1998, and Joel’s wedding in 2007. (No wedding yet for Mike) As Scott stood with Joel as his best man, Mike one of the ushers, walked me down the aisle. “My boys” were together again.

Last October, I wrote a blog entitled “Sometimes a Pat on the Hand is All We Can Offer.” It told of the comfort I never forgot receiving from a dear friend 20 years ago when I was going through a difficult time. We now live 1200 miles apart; we have not seen each other in more than 3 years; I had not told her about Sid. Joel had not told her son – Mike- about Sid. Last week, Scott told Mike about Sid. Mike read the website, and was heartbroken. He called his Mom, who called me on Monday night.

We not only talked about how strong our bond of friendship is, but we talked about that time she put her hand on my back to give me the emotional support I needed. She was sending emotional support on the phone Monday evening. It reminded me how important the love and support is that we give to each other every day on this website. We do not know each other personally, but we are there for each other when needed.

Then she told me how Sid had touched Mike’s life. She said that Mike told her that he would not be the man he is today without Sid’s influence. During those growing up years, he and Sid talked about electronics and the repair field. Because Mike was more into working with his hands than books, Sid encouraged him to pursue what he loved; to learn electronics repair if that is what he liked. As an adult, that is Mike’s business. He can fix anything, and is happy in his chosen field.

I honestly was not aware that Mike and Sid had talked that much all those years ago, and sadly, Sid does not remember it now, but his imprint on Mike’s life is permanent.

As is his imprint on his own son. Anyone who knew Sid and me as a couple, knew how Sid treated me – like a queen made of gold. His love, warmth, concern, and caring were always on his face, in his words, and in his actions. This is his legacy to his son. My daughter-in-law told me that she has never met anyone who treated her as well as Joel treats her.

We all make an impact on one another when our lives cross. It can be as simple as a loving touch of support when needed, or as deep and lasting as advice and counsel that changes one’s life.

Never forget that your words of support on the message boards will touch someone’s life forever.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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