JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, AUGUST 6, 2012 – A LITTLE MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE

Barely two weeks ago, I wrote a blog – Confused Emotions (see below) describing how my total fatigue had me contemplating placement for my husband in an effort to save myself.

Since that time, I have received just a little help with much more to come. What has astonished me is how big a difference the small amount of help has made in my physical and emotional health.

Sid now goes to Day Care 3 days a week. I was lugging him and his wheelchair to and from Day Care. 44 miles a day.  Because he is physically incapable of moving any faster than a tortoise, I have to get us both up 2 hours before it is time to leave for Day Care in order for him to be ready. After a full day of errands, working, and whatever else I had to do, I was returning to Day Care to lug him and his wheelchair back home. It may not sound like a lot, but it was putting strain on my rehabilitated shoulder and physically exhausting me.

Enter the Palms bus driver. It is my fault that I did not think of this before, but bus service to doctor appointments, therapy, and various other appointments, is included in the rent in my Independent Villa. I arranged for the bus driver to take Sid back and forth to Day Care on the two days a week the service is offered. I handle the third day.

The sense of relief I felt when the bus pulled up in front of the house for the first time cannot be overstated. It was if a 100 lb. weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The driver wheeled Sid onto the lift and into the bus. Off they went, and I started my day with the knowledge that I could finish whatever I started, and not have to run out to pick him up. At 4 PM, the bus drove up in front of my house, the lift was lowered, and I wheeled Sid into the house.

Last week I felt the resurgence of a little energy, a feeling so elusive and foreign, I was not sure what it was. Surely, Gabby Douglas and I will never compete for the most energy, but for me, the extra “oomph” allowed me to exercise 3 times in one week at the gym and work endlessly on my Etsy Halloween collection. In addition to the extra energy, I was less stressed. My sister noticed it in my e-mails and remarked about it.

The surprise from this is that it took so little to elicit a change in my attitude and energy- how much difference a minimal amount of help has made.  Many of us decline small offers of help as not being worth the trouble. My recent experience proves us wrong. Every little bit helps. If it is someone making phone calls for you; someone else grocery shopping for you; picking up a prescription at the drug store; giving you an hour a week to sit and do nothing but stare at the trees. Whatever it is, it matters.

I would urge everyone to seek help and accept offers from wherever they come, no matter how small.  The driving help pulled me back from the brink.

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©Copyright 2012 Joan Gershman
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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