JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2008- I HATE DRIVING!

Before I stopped my husband’s driving, I KNEW it would be pure Hell on me for a variety of reasons – He did all of my errands and shopping, which freed me to concentrate on my writing and household tasks; he considered driving
 a “ relaxing pleasure activity” , so did not mind traveling to out of the way restaurants, theaters, or places to sightsee; he considered it “no big deal” to drive 2 hours so I could visit my friend in Miami, or 1 ½ hours to a conference I wanted to attend; he never minded a short jaunt to the grocery store at 5 PM when I realized I didn’t have an ingredient I needed for supper.

I, on the other hand, consider driving a necessity to get me from one place to the other. Period. Doing errands, which consists of driving, stopping, going, stopping, going into the store, post office, bank, insurance office, car mechanic, and waiting in lines interminably, is not only not pleasurable, it is a waste of my time.

Lying on a beach with a book is relaxing; driving 50 miles to the neurologist on I-95 in 80 mile-an-hour congested traffic does not qualify as “relaxation” in my mind. To me, driving is tiring at best, and stressful at most, especially with Dudley Do Right sitting in the passenger seat.

“This is stupid. This is sooo stupid,” he mutters as he loads the car with groceries he has just shopped for and purchased while I sat in the car and caught up on phone calls.

“See, see, see, I told you so”, he smugly proclaims whenever I drag myself into the house after a day of annoying, time consuming errands. “I could be doing this for you, but nooooooo, you had to be stubborn and take my driving away from me, so now you’re paying for it.”

What he does not “get” is that I NEVER would have punished myself in this manner if I had not thought it was necessary. I do not feel I was being stubborn. I feel that I was being prudent.

Now that we are living in Florida, I would love to explore the state. We’ve never been to St. Augustine or Cape Canaveral. I’d like to go to Ft. Meyers in the spring to see our beloved Red Sox play in spring training. But the thought of doing all of that long distance, traffic laden driving is, to be perfectly honest, freaking me out and exhausting me just thinking about it. And it saddens me, because while he is still able to enjoy such trips, we should take them. Orlando is only 2 hours North of us, and we haven’t yet been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom.  I would like to see it, so I do believe I will tackle that one.
While my husband is thrilled that I am miserable, and I am miserable that I am miserable, I still feel I made the right decision. He has Alzheimer’s Disease. It is unpredictable. He has good days. He has bad days. He is forgetful every day, but some days he is sharper than others, and on some days he is more unfocused and confused.  Not a good prescription for driving.  Therefore, I am driving. And hating it. I have made him very happy, smug, and self satisfied that I have admitted it to the world. 

©Copyright 2008 Joan Gershman

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