JOAN’S BLOG – MON/TUE, APRIL 6/7, 2009 – HUMOR ANYONE?

As anyone who has read the message boards last week knows, we could sure use some humor around here. Caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s Disease is heartbreaking, emotionally torturous business. Combine that with financial, personal medical issues, and other family problems experienced by many, some, or all of us, and we end up with a group of people who need a footstool, a drink of choice ( or in my case, chocolate of choice), and a little laughter.

On Saturday, I  recommended the movie “Play the Game” for those who do not mind elderly sexual humor. It had us practically falling out of our seats laughing.

On Sunday, we went to visit a cousin who had adult children and grandchildren visiting for the week. My husband, of course, was PERFECT. He sat quietly – no outbursts, no repeating himself, no asking for others to repeat what they said 5 minutes before, no insulting, taunting, or complaining about me or the driving. I had the following conversation with my cousin, who holds my hand when I cry, is always telling me that she is worried about how stressed and shaky I look, and knows what is going on, but NEVER sees Sid act up:

Set the scene: I am sitting by the pool, in the shade, fully clothed  (You don’t really think I am going to wear a bathing suit in public, do you? I don’t even wear one in PRIVATE anymore – result of all that chocolate). My arms are folded across my chest; my legs are stretched out. I am relaxed.

Cousin: You look calm today.
Me:  He’s calm, so I’m calm.
Cousin: You’re on something.
Me: He’s on a strong anti-rage drug, so I’m calm.
Cousin: Oh, yeah. You’re on something.
Me: I’m calm. I’m good. I’m calm. Xanaax is good.

When it was time to eat, the wine was varied and flowing. Remember, I don’t drink – I eat chocolate, and I was “on something”, i.e. Xanaax, so my cousin kept passing me by with the wine bottles, saying – “Don’t think you need the wine, but proceeded to give me a huge piece of chocolate fudge cake that she had bought specially for me.

In the meantime, Sid was still so PERFECT that the other cousin, the one we had not seen it two years, said to me – “Seems like the same old Sid to me.” I was so calm that I didn’t even get hysterical. Nope, just sat quietly.

Now my challenge is to try to remain calm with a healthier method of relieving stress than eating more chocolate than Lucy or Ethel ever could have shoved into their mouths while working on the conveyer belt (remember that episode?). I’ve thought of trying yoga, but I can’t relax my mind enough to sit that still. I’ve tried exercising at the gym and walking outside. None of these things work. So for now, I’ll go the pharmacological route – Zoloft and Xanaax. And humor.

If anyone has any humorous stories to tell related to their spouses’ AD, we could sure use them. Humor is one of the best stress relievers I know. And it doesn’t make you fat, tipsy, or too sleepy to function.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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