JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2011 – HOLDING MY HAND

My pending shoulder surgery has brought to the surface a lot of emotions related to the 40 years my husband and I have been together. It has been a given, no questions needed, that whenever I had surgery, my best friend – my husband- would be by my side, holding my hand until they wheeled me into the operating room. When I awoke, he would be holding my hand. His face was always the first one I saw when I opened my eyes, and I would never want it any other way.

This time it will be somewhat different, as it will be my sister driving me to the surgery center. It will be much easier for her to leave Sid and his wheelchair at home. But no, I need him by my side, holding my hand before and after the surgery. That is the way it has always been, and that is the way I hope it to be until one of us dies. In thinking about this, memories came flooding back to me. Memories of Sid at my side through good, bad, and worse. Memories of Sid holding my hand:

On our first date, when we looked into each other’s eyes, sparks flew, and our fates were sealed.

In the car, on the way to the airport to start our honeymoon and life together.

With comfort, while delivering the news that my mother had finally lost her long battle with cancer.

With love and concern as he took me home from the hospital after our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

With joy as we gazed down on the face of our newborn son.

With support and love whenever and wherever we snorkeled in the deep blue sea.

With impishness as we frolicked in our backyard pool.

With strength as we weathered the storm of teenage rebellion that bordered on disaster.

With wonderment, togetherness, and happiness, whenever and wherever we traveled.

With love and devotion for no reason other than we enjoyed being together.

Through the joyous times; the sad times; the challenging times; the silly fun times – no matter what or when – it has always been Sid holding my hand in comfort and love. Although Alzheimer’s Disease has robbed him of much of his former personality, cognition, and comprehension, when I look at his face, I still see the Sid I married. I cannot imagine going through surgery without him by my side, holding my hand. 

And so it will be two weeks from now. Sid holding my hand before I am wheeled into surgery.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

©Copyright 2011 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2011 All Rights Reserved
Under penalty of copyright laws, this information cannot be copied or posted on any website, media, or print outlet, without referencing the author and website from which it was taken.

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.           

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2010 All Rights Reserved