JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, JULY 1, 2011 – Hit and Miss – Hiring a Home Health Aide

Most of my blogs are emotional. They come from the depths of the heart that Alzheimer’s Disease has shattered into a million pieces – again and again and again, by stealing the love of my life and our future together. Many of my blogs are informative and educational, based upon my own experience as an Alzheimer Spouse, a language therapist, and a conference attendee.

I hope that today’s blog, although highly unscientific, will be informative and helpful to you. The message boards are filled with topics related to finding and choosing a home health aide to help with your spouses’ activities of daily living (showering, shaving, feeding, changing), as well as simple “sitting”, and watching them while you go out to do some errands. I always THINK I am doing a service by listing resources on the left side of my website for finding such a person. I even have various home health agencies listed, and a guide to help you find assistance in your area. We have discussed interview questions to ask the prospective aide, and questions to ask their references. Guess what I found out? None of it matters. Good, old fashioned trial and error is your best option. It is time consuming, annoying, and expensive, but in the end, it is what works.

Let me give you a synopsis of my experience in this area, and explain how I came to my non scientific conclusion.

RECOMMENDATION  BY A FRIEND: Last year, when my father came to live in the ALF next door, I hired an experienced person to take him on weekly outings. This person was recommended by a friend, who had used him. He turned out to be personally intrusive in our family business and quite unreliable.

AGENCY: Okay, I thought, let’s go through an agency this time. After 2 hours of a face to face interview with the “intake” person, which included reams of paperwork, and a meeting with my father; then another hour interview on the phone with the agency head, AND more time on the phone with the “scheduling” coordinator, we were all set. So I thought. In spite of the fact that I was insistent that my father needed someone experienced and strong to transfer him from his chair to his wheelchair; from the wheelchair to the car; and could lift the wheelchair in and out of the trunk, they sent……………….an out of shape older woman who had no idea what to do with a wheelchair, and had no idea what “transfer” even meant.

ANOTHER TRY: When I called the agency to complain, and “politely” asked how they could possibly send me someone so inappropriate, given the lengthy interview process, they profusely apologized (although giving no explanation), and asked for another chance. This time, they sent a muscular, strong man, who knew what he was doing regarding wheelchair transfers. For the entire month of March, he took my father to the Spring Training baseball games, but I knew my father was not happy with him. My father has a vast array of knowledge, and likes to talk about all subjects – travel, sports, politics. The aide spoke with a heavy accent that my father did not understand, and had no knowledge of any subject on which my father liked to converse. They spent their time together in silence. I cancelled the agency, and decided to try again in the fall. And it was expensive. The less time spent, the more money they charged. Along with 44 cents per mile.

MY TURN: Three less than ideal experiences under my belt, and now, after shoulder surgery, I needed someone in my house to take care of my personal needs, laundry, errands, and grocery shop. What to do? I even went to my own website to look up agencies in my area. Fate stepped in, and my next door neighbor told me about a woman who took care of her after her last surgery. She has been my lifesaver. She is a professional caregiver, a CNA, and licensed to give shots if needed. She is fast, efficient, knows what to do after being told once, and handles it all with a caring, kind attitude. She has also been running errands for me relating to my father – bringing him supplies, putting them away, and chatting with him. I’m hoping to use her to take him on outings, as he seems to like her.   

AIDES FOR OUR SPOUSES: Besides needing someone who is experienced in taking care of our spouses’ ADL’s, we will need someone who understands dementia patients – their fears; their inability to reason; how to calm them. Considering the problems I have encountered when dementia has NOT been part of the equation, I shudder to think what will happen when I need an aide for my husband.

So there you have my wisdom of the day. When it comes to hiring home health aides, going through an agency or taking a friend’s recommendation do not insure success. Trial and error – It’s messy, frustrating, and time consuming, but it works.

MESSAGE BOARDS: Joan's Blog - Hiring a Home Health Aide

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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