JOAN’S BLOG, MON/TUE., MARCH 5/6, 2012 – THE GRATITUDE LIST

Last night, as I sat down to write a blog, I remembered that I needed to call the restaurant we were attending that evening. I wanted to make sure they had a table and space that would accommodate Sid’s wheelchair.  We had plans with another Alzheimer couple for dinner and a comedy show. That is when the idea for this blog came to me.

My recent blogs have told the stories of the toll the spousal caregiving gig is taking on my emotional and physical health. However, when I reminded myself to call the restaurant, I thought about some good parts of my life that still remain, and for which I should be grateful.

Last week, I was listening to John Tesh’s “Intelligence for Your Life” radio show, in which his expert staff gathers information from all sources to impart to his listeners. One piece of “intelligence” from another one of those studies by “they”, whoever “they” are, reports that people who keep a gratitude journal are happier with their lives than anyone else. Every week (or month or day – I honestly do not remember which), we are supposed to write down 5 things in our lives for which we are grateful. This is supposed to give us perspective and supposedly make us happier than those who do not keep a gratitude journal. Do I believe this? Not necessarily, but I did decide to give it a one-time try.

In the context of being an Alzheimer Spouse, I am grateful that:

We have Alzheimer friends who understand us and with whom we are able to socialize, i.e., Sunday night’s dinner and show.

My husband is still able to dress, shave, and shower himself, regardless of how slow he is.

I am funded for two days of Day Care, so I do get a breather from caregiving for a few hours on those days. It is my own fault if I do chores instead of taking the time for myself.

My Villa fee provides a delivered dinner meal and weekly cleaning, so I am free of those responsibilities.

My family, although they live far away, do understand, empathize, and try to help when they are able.

My husband still knows who I am.

I have a large support network – social workers, case manager, nurses, and Alzheimer friends.

I am able to escape the Alzheimer World for a few hours each week when I play Mahjong with 3 Non-Alzheimer women.

Well, look at that. I exceeded my mandatory five. In a very small way, the list does make me feel better and grateful for what I do have. Oh, believe me, the opposing list is far longer, and nothing makes anything better when there is massive financial stress, but the gratitude list does give me a measure of perspective as to how much worse things could be if I did not have my 9 gratitude’s.

What about you? Give it a try and let us know how it makes you feel. MESSAGE BOARD: Joan’s Blog – Gratitude List

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