JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2008 – A CHANGE OF PACE – SOME GOOD NEWS

As you know from reading my blogs, I have been going through some very rough emotional potholes. As I look back on this Alzheimer’s journey so far, my husband’s forgetfulness, constant questions, and confusion, now seem like mere inconveniences compared to the mood swings, anger, depression, irrationality, and outright rages. Your support and wise advice have brightened my spirits. I feel the same as our newcomers, who often report that simply finding out that other spouses are experiencing the same behaviors, emotions, and struggles as we are, is enough to lift a bit of the burden from our shoulders.

Just when I am at a low point in my emotions, along comes some good news. My son and daughter-in-law are coming from California for a visit next month – actually in about 3 weeks from now!  Sid and I usually fly out to San Francisco at least once a year to visit them, but I simply did not have the physical and emotional stamina this year to make the trip. ( Read previous blogs #68 and 71 for insight into last year's trip.)

I have missed both of them so much. Since Sid and I  love our lifestyle and weather here in Florida, and they love their San Francisco life – neither of us is inclined to move, so we must be satisfied with yearly visits.

There will be a lot to cram into this short stay – a bit of sightseeing, a visit to other relatives, important business (the legal paper stuff), and of course, teaching Mom new web design tricks.

Oh, and best of all – my daughter-in-law has offered to give me a break and do all of the driving. Yippeee!

Many of our message board discussions have focused on the difficulty of explaining Alzheimer’s Disease, its effect on the patient, and its effect on us the spouses, to our adult children, regardless of how close or far away they live from us. In my case, Joel has been “with” me from the beginning. He set up the website, sent me the web design software, and taught me how to use it.  In his position as my technical advisor, he has read every blog, and is therefore more aware of Alzheimer’s Disease’s effect on both of his parents than most adult children of Alzheimer patients. He also happens to be very intelligent ( Yes, I am biased – I’m his mother – I’m allowed to be), and extremely perceptive. He picks up on subtleties of behavior, body language, and underlying meanings in writings and speech. It will be interesting to get his perspective on the changes he sees in both of us since last year. Changes that perhaps, even he has not been able to detect through phone calls and my writings.

I do not know what today will bring – I hold my breath every morning, wondering if it will be Alzheimer’s war or peace. But for now, I am buoyed by the knowledge that in a few short weeks I get to hug my son and daughter-in-law again.

 ©Copyright 2008 Joan Gershman 

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