Alzheimer Hot Line

1-800-272-3900

Open 24 Hours a Day

E-mail me - joan@thealzheimerspouse.com


  

 
   
 

 

JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2009 -  YAY FOR GARDENER SID

 

When we lived in Massachusetts, my husband used to eagerly look forward to Memorial Day, when he could plant his vegetable garden. With no help from me, I assure you. Many women love puttering in the garden. I am not a dirt putterer. No sirreee. Manual labor, dirt, and bugs are not my idea of fun. We had bushes in the front of the house, not flowers. This girl didn’t plant vegetables or flowers. 

We moved to Florida into a development where the builder had the flowers, bushes, and trees planted. We pay a quarterly homeowner’s fee so someone else can trim, weed, clip, fertilize, mow, and whatever else you do to nature. Unfortunately, our house was one that got spider plants in the front, instead of pretty, colorful flowers. In the 2 ½ years we have lived in this house, those spider plants have deteriorated into spindly, sparse, pathetic excuses for foliage. Tough luck for us, according to the builder. If we want anything else, we buy it, plant it, and tend to it.

Sid decided that he was going to plant new flowers and greenery. We talk a lot around here about boosting our spouses’ self esteem. They have lost so many abilities that it is a triumph when they can successfully complete a task, so I certainly did not want to discourage him. BUT, even before AD, he tended to lose focus and leave projects unfinished. AND he decides to do this in MAY, when our outdoor thermometer attests to the fact that it can be 100 degrees in the sun at 10 AM. However, I was adhering to the principle of “pick your battles” (see blog below), and I said nothing.

He did not argue with me when I made him wear a hat Wednesday morning, as he took his newly purchased shovel and headed out the front door in the laser beam Florida sun. Since we both knew he would never remember where I told him I wanted which plants, I patiently drew a diagram for him to follow.

I checked on him every ½ hour, as the sweat stains on his t-shirt spread wider each time. He was astounded that the soil was hard as cement, rather than the soft dirt up North. But he dug away, until he finally had a hole big enough to plant one of the large, beautiful new plants. He kept at it until he had another hole dug, but then actually had the good sense to know his body could not take anymore, and he signed off for the day. I was proud of him, and he was rightfully pleased with himself.  He did a great job, and that one new plant made quite a difference in the appearance of the front of the house. I could see that it will look spectacular when it is finished.

Later on in the afternoon, I looked outside, and what did I see?  The lawn maintenance people were clipping and trimming the bushes and trees. They raked up the soil around the new plant, and it looked even better than when Sid finished with it. But wait - uh oh. They also filled in the second hole Sid left for the next new plant! Much to his credit, he did not lose his temper or even get upset. Since they filled it in with soft dirt, he figured it would not be difficult to dig it out again.

How about that? A job well done. No nagging by the wife. No temper tantrums by the AD husband. I would say it was a good day.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

 

      

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Custom Search