JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, JULY 25, 2008 – THE DOCTOR VISIT – “I’M FINE.”

For two days before the neurologist’s appointment, the night before the appointment, and the morning of the appointment, I told Sid – “The doctor NEEDS to hear what you are going through. He NEEDS to know what is going on. When he asks you how you are, TELL HIM what you have been telling me – that you are so depressed over the driving revocation that you feel as if your life is over, that you have nothing to live for, that you are miserable, angry, and shocked that it happened. And you can mention that you were taking it all out on me. Don’t say – “I’m fine.”” Which is his standard answer every time the doctor asks him how he is doing.

Dr. S. walked into the room and asked what was happening. I told him about the driving and that Sid was depressed. Dr. S. turned to Sid and asked how he was doing, and Sid said……………………     “ I’m dealing with it.”  

To my credit, I did not scream in shock – WHAAAAT????? No, I did not. I calmly told him to tell the doctor what he told me. He sat there and complained about the insurance company refusing to insure him. Again, as calmly and as succinctly as I could, I told the doctor about the depression and rage.

The situation went exactly as I knew it would. Our neurologist is a brilliant scientist – tops in his field – in the forefront of all the latest treatments and drug trials, and he desperately wants to help Sid. He feels his best option is the Elan infusion trial, and he does not want to jeopardize it by changing medications now. No medication changes are allowed for 120 days before start of the trial. So he is speeding up the trial for Sid and made an appointment for us to see the psychiatrist down the hall in 3 weeks, which will be after the first infusion. The psychiatrist can then determine how often Sid (me? us?) should be seen for therapy, and she can prescribe an anti-depressant.

I know many of you have faced this “I’m fine” situation when you get to the doctor’s office. But honestly, after all the raging, sobbing, and screaming these last two weeks, I would have thought (do I ever learn?) that he would have been a little more honest and open with a doctor he adores and respects. Nope.

Now a word about Friday. I have to drive almost all 46 miles to the doctor’s office to a special lab for an 8:45 AM brain MRI for Sid. THEN I have to drive the rest of the way to the doctor’s office for 3 hours of cognitive testing for Sid and an hour interview for me. Since my cousin lives ½ way between the doctor and my house, we will stop there on the way home for supper. Hopefully, I will have enough energy left to drive home. And Sid thought I was gleeful about him not being able to drive anymore.

Thank you to those of you who wished me luck on my first driving venture all the way to West Palm Beach –I did fine. Of course, there was no traffic. Friday morning will be a different story.

I would like to hear your stories of the "I'm fine" syndrome at the doctor's office. If you have any, and I am willing to bet that you do. Did you lose your cool? Did you tell the doctor the truth?

MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC: "I'm Fine."

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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