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![]() JOAN'S BLOG - WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21, 2009 - WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE. After a full day of stressful arguing, screaming, accusations, The day started innocently enough. I said that we would go shopping “later” after I finished some web work. By “later”, I meant very much later, as in 3 o’clock in the afternoon. After an hour’s work, I came into the kitchen to get a drink, and was faced with a very angry, impatient husband Later on in the evening, I made another communication error. I “assumed” (very bad action when dealing with those who are communication impaired) that he was going to take out the trash Given my professional background, I should not have been so slow to catch on, but I finally “got” it. Although he lost much of his abstract thinking ability early on in the disease, he is now losing the ability for deductive reasoning and making inferences. He requires concrete, specific information and instructions often accompanied by visuals. As a special education professional, when presented with a student who was unable to understand information due to cognitive impairment, it was my job to break down that information so they could comprehend it. Sometimes it is difficult for me to put on my “professional” hat when dealing with my own husband, but now that I understand what is happening in his brain, I will dust off the hat and put it on. As I did with my students, I will make sure that he understands exactly what I mean when I give him information I have been “practicing what I preach” in the area of language since I first noticed his comprehension difficulties, but I am sometimes slow to pick up on a declining ability, which leads to his “catastrophic reactions” and escalating anger. Lesson learned. I will be on guard from now on as to how I communicate my intentions. For those of you who are coming on the cruise, I am giving a presentation entitled, “Huh? Effective Strategies for Communicating with an Alzheimer's Loved One.” I promise to make it fun and interactive. It will be available in paperback book form for a nominal fee. Then it’s lounge chair Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com
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